Injera Guacamole Hotdog

ADOPTION PODCAST on UGANDA AND HAITI on 4/12 at 8pm

2011-04-09T14:43:00.000-07:00

As a reminder our main blog now is here at MOTHER THE WORLD PLEASE SUBSCRIBE TO MY BLOG THERE...

Please join us on TUESDAY 4/12 at 8pm EST for a live podcast on adoption in Uganda and Haiti:

Mother the HIV+ Child-Traci Heim "Bring on the Hope"

2011-02-15T12:17:00.001-08:00

This video is of my friend Traci. I had the pleasure of taping her during a recent Chicago meeting we had with Project Hopeful. She is the mother of 6 children (all adopted). Her youngest is Dasha from Ukraine. Dasha is HIV+. Traci is fast becoming one of my best friends. She is extremely bright, funny and easygoing. I love this woman. THere were two points that really drove home to me when listening to her.

One was when she mentions that being a mother is less about fulfilling our needs but loving because these children need us. It seems like a given, but truly if we consider how and why we love, it is often because we are trying to fulfill a need within ourselves. That need could be security,confidence, control or our own personal NEED to be a mother. If we really think about it LOVE is something that we should express toward out children in spite of getting nothing...even the possibility of a lack of love back from love. We love because they need us to love them and when we do it is a gift God has given us...Traci says about her kids "they don't have to love me. If they do it is a gift. But I love them..." Important point to remember when considering adoption. Do we adopt because we expect love back. Do we adopt because we expect appreciation from the child? Or do we love in spite of getting nothing back?

The other thing that I loved about what Traci said is regarding HOPE. And this could be applied to TRUTH, JOY, PEACE or anything feeling or promise that others need to survive. We oftentimes think of 'hope' as something elusive or out there somewhere in an intangible spot. The fact is that we are called to 'bring' hope to people by being the hands and feet of Jesus and 'bringing the hope' to them. When we advocate for them we are 'bringing the hope.' When we sit around thinking the hope will come from some other resource than ourselves than we are deciding not to participate in the Great Commission to bring Truth to others. .....We are blessed to be able to serve. We can choose to let someone else bring the hope...or have a person die without hope..or we can 'bring the hope'...to someone in need. Traci and her husband Scott have brought the hope to six children...one with HIV who could have died without her intervention. So we bring on the HOPE whenever we can everytime we say "Yes Lord..I am going..to be obedient and serve your children.." Traci's personal blog is LET IT BE TO ME...

Kids Visit Make Up Store

2011-01-25T16:44:00.000-08:00

# Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. (His Dream Our Reality)-Video Tribute by Blended Family

2011-01-17T10:31:00.001-08:00

PTA Insanity: Hawaiian Day on Winter Advisory Day

2011-01-10T17:40:00.000-08:00

House cleaning (attempt): No More Wire Hangers

2011-01-10T09:10:00.001-08:00

Jared Puts His Foot in Ella's Coat Sleeve

2011-01-05T11:50:00.001-08:00

Ella's Letter to Santa

2011-01-05T11:48:00.001-08:00

"I'm Gonna Marry You" 3-Year-Old Keren Claims Her Husband

2011-01-03T18:33:00.001-08:00

Nutcracker Video: Matea's Interpretation

2010-12-19T20:32:00.000-08:00

Amazing Adoption VIDEO: Depraved Indifference

2010-12-10T19:04:00.000-08:00

This is what I strive for..To totally adopt God's heart and live fearless faith....

God plays Santa and is Relentless for Orphans

2010-12-09T06:33:00.003-08:00

My family has been committing to praying for the orphan in a very personal way. So we post pictures of these sweet children on our refrigerator or in a frame and pray for them. Often we have celebrated when we find out these children find homes. One of these children is a beautiful boy that my family loves even though we haven't met him. We have been praying for him for several months now. He is 4 years old, HIV positive and living in Eastern Europe. I have a friend who is a strong advocate for many orphans in this country and has connections in over 20 of these orphanages....Through an amazing act of God we had come to find out what

orphanage our virtually internet adopted son is living in.

This was an orphanage she had not visited yet but because of her advocacy we were able to find out orphanage needs etc of his current home....We just had this conversation recently and in this conversation she mentioned how her organization had already sent or were about to send most of their Christmas packages to the orphanages and this orphanage did not have anyone sending gifts....So of course I volunteered to send boxes to these orphans but also told her that we would not be able to get them there by Christmas...(they celebrate in January)....

A few weeks ago, I posted a note on my Facebook about needing toys for 40 boys and 40 girls ages (2-6) and then additional items (pacifiers, baby wipes for 150 infants).No one responded or volunteered to help...But in all honesty I dropped the ball not pursuing it further and then started to get concerned because I had promised....so even though finances are very tight i figured I would somehow be able to spend the money etc to get it done..or I was just going to tell my friend we couldn't get our act together....In all honesty, I had no idea what Iwas going to do because I haven't even shopped for my own kids..don't have discretionary income...and had to cancel two fundraisers due to lack of response or contributions. Things are tight very very tight now not only for myself but for many so I totally understand people needing to prioritize and spend for their holidays etc..But still..I said "yes' I will help...and no matter what my family 'needs' for the Holidays...they pale in comparison to the 300 children at this orphanage...My intense passion for these particular children is spilling over into most of my extra time...I can't stop feeling anxious about the HIV children especially at this orphanage and the fact that when it snows in winter..there are windows that are broken so it snows inside (winter is coming fast in Eastern Europe)....I had decided I was going to find a way to help via MOTHER THE WORLD NFP by offering to videotape the orphanage/raise awareness etc...Somehow I am determined to visit there but not sure how or when...

Being the mother of 4 adopted children I have noticed that God does allow the orphan to get to the front of the line of His priorities...It sometimes seems like every other seemingly important thing in the world can take a backseat when His orphaned children are clamoring to sit in the Father's lap....If God were Santa...there would be a VIP line at the mall for these children. The sea parts for them...but sometimes requires someone to lead them to the opening...We oftentimes are called to help to deliver the goodness of God to them...and it is serious business...

So, this morning I experienced an intense Jesus encounter. I woke up with my heart broken for these children...and I prayed and prayed for God to move mountains for these children...while not thinking much about the ball I had dropped regarding Christmas or at least February gifts for this orphanage...I prayed for families and that God would not forget them...I then went out to open the garage door because i had an errand to run and found this blocking the entrance to my garage...(I could have backed into something)....

On the way to see what was outside of my garage (in the way of my leaving), I received a call from a mother of my daughter's friend saying "Hi this is Linda, I just decided to drop by some extra items our store had and i thought you would be able to figure out what to do with them!" This woman had not seen my email requesting help for this orphanage...I had not called her to ask for anything and she is not on facebook and doesn't know hardly any of my friends...as I walked up to the boxes and looked inside I saw that there were 5 boxes filled with age appropriate items for all of the children in this orphanage for the holidays...dropped at my house in NC to be delivered from God to these children in Eastern Europe that I had forgotten but He hadn't...

There were about 200 little cars, dolls, action figures, yo yo's, books, mittens, stuffed toys, crayons, playdough, jumpropes...on and on..brand new...

I walked into the door of my house deciding the errands will have to wait....I fell to my knees and cried like I was a little child myself....I couldn't get over the relentlessness and extravagance of God. My Ethiopian daughter Ella asked me the other day if Santa and God are the same....my older Ethiopian daughter very wisely looked at her sister and said "God is like MANAGER to Santa!" In this case this is very true...sometimes Santa may forget but God doesn't...I am humbled at how God can deliver stocking stuffers to a busy mom in NC (right behind her minivan in case she would miss it)..so that she will NOT FORGET what GOD'S priorities are....and it is very clearly the orphan....I pray this season we remember how insignificant our needs and desires are to the needs of the least of these who have made it to the top of the list of the MANAGER AND SUPERVISOR of Santa....

If you would like to donate to MOTHER THE WORLD to help with shipping or help me to get there to video tape the orphanages and Mothers and help these children find homes please consider donating to my non-for profit...Mother the World..

MOTHER HIV PLUS

2010-12-09T06:31:00.000-08:00

Please consider browsing these amazing adoption testimonies at our MOTHER HIV PLUS site...

MOTHER THE WORLD: FAMILIES NEEDED for Adoption of Sibling Groups

2010-12-09T06:21:00.000-08:00

Reminder that I am posting more frequently at our new site MOTHER THE WORLD

I encourage you all to follow that blog...

We have two new inquiries looking for families for two situations abroad:

Three toddler siblings in an Asian country (the youngest -age 2- is HIV positive)...looking for a family to take all three...Please contact PROJECT HOPEFUL.

AND

2 Sibling groups of 4 in Poland ranging in age from 2-9 (see below for contact)
A woman (Anna Maria), who adopted 3 Polish children 10 years ago (just recently returned to the orphanage in Poland for a visit), has been asked by the sisters (Servants of the Blessed Virgin Mary in Czestochowa ), to help get the word out that there are two different sibling groups of four children each (ages ranging from 2-9), that they are trying to find homes for. These nuns who run the orphanage do not want to see the children split from their siblings.

If you all know anyone who might be in a position to adopt a sibling group from Poland, please pass on this information! Anna Maria's number is 703-203-2901. She is here in the U.S. and does speak Polish. If anyone is seriously interested, Anna Maria said she would be glad to talk to them.

The Directoress' name is Sr. Alina Syliwoniuk. Her phone number is (011) +48(0)34-324- 67-51. Dom Malych Dzieci Home of small children (Orphanage) im. E.Bojanowskiego E. Bojanowski ul. sw. Kazimierza 1 St. Casimir Str 42-200 Czestochowa

Auntie Denise shares her recipe for Left over Mashed Potatoes-Cavatelli

2010-11-29T14:10:00.001-08:00

Try this recipe for left-over Mashed potatoes....yummy cavatelli

THANKSGIVING: Gratitude and the ADOPTED CHILD

2010-11-24T18:48:00.000-08:00

PLEASE DON"T FORGET TO FOLLOW US HERE AT MOTHER THE WORLD Eventually all of our posts will be found there as we transfer all over to MOTHER THE WORLD...

I grew up as the youngest of 4 girls, with one bathroom (without a shower) in a tiny bungalow in Illinois. My mother was a single mother from the time I was 8 years old. I dried my hair by sitting in front of the furnace. My mom worked 4 jobs to pay the bills and there were times when I ate mayo and peanut butter sandwiches for lunch.

This morning our bedroom door bust open at 7:15 am. Our adopted children woke us up to inform us that they wanted to change rooms and that their plan was for us to change our plans to accommodate their idea of FUN on the day before Thanksgiving in moving furniture, dresssers etc. My agenda had included getting the turkey defrosted and preparing for Thanksgiving. As I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes, somewhat annoyed because I wanted to sleep in until at least 8am, I informed them that there would be no room changes now or in the near future. My 9 year old Ethiopian daughter Ella wasn’t taking ‘no’ for an answer and in her usual spirited fashion kept pushing for HER WILL TO BE DONE….. . Eventually, this led to her proclaiming how she never gets what she wants and that all of the other kids she knows basically are parented by people who always say “YES” to every whim of their children. I then sent her to her room because I have come to the realization that I have no patience for any individual who feels entitled or is ungrateful.

When you go through the adoption process you have to take these DVD parenting classes required by the HAGUE. Most of them are extremely helpful. We still use 90% of the techniques that are recommended. But I have to say that I disagree with the advice to never let your children think that somehow you have done them a favor by adopting them and increasing their life span by 50 years through adoption. Okay…let me explain. Many child psychologists recommend not pointing out to your adopted kids how fortunate they are to have what they now have. I take exception to this because I don’t care if a person is from Park Avenue, Beverly Hills or the streets of Guatemala City or Addis Ababa…I HATE WHEN PEOPLE ARE UNGRATEFUL FOR THE BLESSINGS GOD HAS GIVEN THEM….

Oprah had this segment that she promoted often which included a ‘gratitude journal”. Oprah I know is not perfect…but I do think expressing gratitude for all that we have is an awesome thing to do. If we expect this from your average American why do we decide it is best not to remind our orphaned children of the same? I want all of my children to be grateful to God for our lives. I realized as I pondered what Ella may be thinking while I had her ‘reflect’ in her room., that the reason Ella is constantly dis-satistied, is that she still is mentally coming from a place of lack and a place of being robbed. She lost her mother, she lost her culture in some ways…she lost life as she knew it. I don’t want to diminish her pain in anyway. But I also don’t want her to grow up to be an adult with a chip on her shoulder thinking the world still owes her something. She is not living in lack and seems to have her eyes closed to the treasure that abound all around her. It is my job as her mother to open her eyes and direct them away from the lies of lack and the truth of the treasures. She has been blessed. She has the word CHOSEN all over her in spite of her past. She has an opportunity to give a testimony of how God redeemed her life. But if she lives her life waiting for THINGS to fill that empty space and if I allow her to grow up with that chip present than I personally don’t think I would be helping to nurture a healthy adult. If we keep ignoring the awesome blessings God has placed on their lives by bringing us all together then we are being ungrateful to God Himself. There are still many children in Africa, in Guatemela, Ukraine, China that don’t have 3,4, or 5 bedrooms to choose from.

It had been announced to me that Ella wanted to run away after being denied ‘a different room.” I told Ella to make sure not to take any of the clothes we had given her, or shoes, or food or bike. I know!.I know! Not really the DVD parenting advice you get on the adoption DVD’s. I went up to see Ella and she had been writing a scathing letter of how much she hates us for not doing what she wanted when she wanted it….I sat down calmly and asked Ella these questions. How big was your house in Ethiopia? She said she didn’t remember. I told her that I remembered because we had visited her great grandfather’s house where she lived after her mother had passed. I told her it was the same size as her current room. I said “Did it have a bathroom attached and was it air conditioned?” I know! I know…awful parenting. Then I told her the horrific stories of how when I was little we had to put air conditioners in the windows…”OH NO!” She gasped!!! And how we didn’t have computers or even a cell phone or a dishwasher…OH NOOOOOO….to her I had been an abused and neglected child…Then a light bulb went off in my mind….I thought I would discuss why we had THANKSGIVING and how people who came to America had no food then PILGRIMS AND INDIANS shared their food (sort of like we do with eachother and friends)…I then told her how sad and sorry I am for her for the death of her parents and how it makes me sad too…but then I told her…”isn’t it amazing that God loves you sooo much that he brought you a new family? Isn’t it incredible that you can even choose between bedrooms? Isn’t it awesome how you have so many friends and that you can live a long life and that one day you too can adopt a baby from Ethiopia because you will grow to be a healthy strong Ethiopian/American woman? Not all Ethiopian girls can grow up to be Ethiopian women or mothers or grandmothers (their life expectancy pales by many years to hers)…. I told her that she has an excellent chance of all of the amazing milestones that were stolen from her mother….

Why shouldn’t the orphan be grateful? We all should be grateful…Why shouldn’t the orphan be reminded to praise God for where they are and what they have? We all should Praise God for where we are and what we have….Why shouldn’t the orphan be reminded to speak with respect to the people who took a leap of faith to commit their lives, hearts and finances to love them? We all should respect our parents when they put their lives on the line for us…I don’t want Ella to feel condemned or that she should be constantly shouting THANK YOU to us…but I certainly don’t think it is healthy for the memories and realization of blessings to be stripped from them because of some advice from a psychological study that may or may not work with my real life child in my bedroom at 7:15am..

Ella is upstairs making pumpkin pies with her Aunt Denise right now. Her room is clean, She played with her 2 Chinese girlfriends today. Tomorrow she is in charge of collecting a list from each child of what they are Thankful for ….I am so grateful for the parenting DVD’s we were required to watch in order to be qualified as parents…but sometimes there is something to be said for parental instinct and a divine HOLY SPIRIT intelligence that sometimes dominates in our parenting….

I am grateful for my beautiful children but feel free to join me in reprimanding them if they pull any entitlement crap in front of you…it is THANKSGIVING and we will be giving thanks in spite of what they WANT!!!!

Christmas 2010

2010-11-18T15:26:00.001-08:00

Matea out Stares Herself

2010-11-15T11:40:00.001-08:00

Sephora with Ella, Grace and Matea

2010-11-10T11:51:00.001-08:00

Orphan Sunday: Is the Bride of Christ Dancing? Mother the World

2010-11-01T15:51:00.000-07:00

InCulture Parent

2010-11-01T11:10:00.000-07:00

Check out this new online magazine. I am a contributor InCulture Parent...

Street Kids in Russia-DISTURBING VIDEOS

2010-10-27T17:42:00.001-07:00

Documentary of street kids in Russia. Be still my heart. Some have run away from home, the orphanage and abuse in both places. But the life on the streets and what it does to these kids is just heart breaking....All I can say honestly is that we have to remind ourselves to always think about how precious they are in HIS sight and that as the hands of feet of God...maybe we can do our little bit to help. Children often times who age out of the orphanage system have the options for government programs but because of lack of proper parenting often still end up on the street after using govt funding for vodka and foolish spending..it is a crazy cycle...just pray...

THE CHILDREN OF LENINGRADSKY 1 OF 2
Uploaded by Top-Notch112. - Explore more family videos.

THE CHILDREN OF LENINGRADSKY 2 OF 2
Uploaded by Top-Notch112. - Explore more family videos.

Orphans are like Potato Chips...can't eat just one!!!

2010-10-15T18:31:00.000-07:00

I am reposting this...but have been blogging at MOTHER THE WORLD Expressing my feelings...about orphans and potato chips and my need for a fix (this isn't an adoption announcement..just a post about my frustration...)..but anything can happen..LOL!

It's like eating potato chips...You reach your hand in and get a taste of the sweet salty crunchy snack and you just can't resist having another. I never struggled with addictions (although I am a little nuts for chocolate and yankee tea-three quarters unsweet one quarter sweet)...But HELP ME RHONDA!!!! I need an intervention. I have come to the realization that just when I get a bit of satisfaction in having relieved myself of the 'orphan adoption yaya's"...there is a deep need in me to stick my hand back in that bag for another bite.....I couldn't sleep at night when the addiction first hit me in 2004. I would wake up with night sweats (way too early for the change of life--no comments from the peanut gallery..MOM)...dreams of hearing cries of babies motherless from across the sea somewhere. This went on until I finished my homestudy, sent in the dossier to Guatemala...then it commenced as I waited to get the green light to go to embrace my sweet baby girl Matea... and bring her home.

You would think being filled up with a chubby, raspberry blowing, Guatemalan baby doll bundle would cure me and satisfy this hunger. Afterall, it seriously was as if God had brought to life one of MichaelAngelo's cherubic paintings and handed it to me in human form. Matea was and still is a total 'gift from God!" But like I tell my kids.."Love is like a giant balloon that expands and never pops!" The heart can simultaneously feel immense love for a child and then another and another....(like a craving for salty chips)

So, a few years go by...my cravings, desire for another salty crunchy chip is intensified by three...as we head to Ethiopia...

A great feeling of peace came over me as the chaos erupted in my home...the addiction seemed to have been cured. Six kids, the critics would say is more than enough..."we are tying the tubes of your adoption yayas and taking that bag of chips off the counter...."

Perhaps, if I knew that the statistics were going down and that the number hadn't moved from 147 million to 150 million orphans...maybe I would be able to sit back in my recliner satisfied that I could get a good nights sleep and not be haunted by the cries and pictures of the orphans I have encountered first hand. But the numbers are growing and I know that in some countries less that one hundredth of one percent of the orphans will even be adopted...The chip bag never empties...it keeps getting fuller and fuller...and is overtaking the pantry shelves of my psyche...

I guess I would sleep better at night with the realization that if no one goes to care for the HIV+ kids in Uganda, Ethiopia or Eastern Europe they would still live...But I remain sleepless and restless in the knowledge of knowing that if nobody goes for Baxter, Sveta, Lori, Valentin...that they WILL die very very very young...But if we GO and reach into the salty bag of humanity to pull one out and yield to the addiction a life or lives will be saved...

I long to be cured! I long to not feel this need and this desire! I long to be able to sit back and continue to cheer and support the ones that go...but if I am being honest that isn't enough...My donations...my advocacy is just not as good as going in to pull a child out of a drowning sea...Do I sit in the boat and just continue to give others direction on how to save one orphan from the vast salty ocean when more lifeguards are needed....or do I dive in again because I know how to swim...?There is a prayer inside of me that screams "LORD TAKE THIS FROM ME!!" I spend

my days waffling between my middle class suburban common sense that says..."YOU CAN"T DO ANYMORE...MAINTAIN YOUR COMFORT...YOUR STATUS QUO....don't stretch anymore".....then there is that voice that wakes me up at night...

If you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry and satisfy the needs of the oppressed, then your light will rise in the darkness, and your night will become like the noonday." Isaiah 58:10

'He defended the cause of the poor and needy, and so

all went well. Is that not what it means to know me?" declares the LORD." Jeremiah 22:16

It is not so much a voice that wakes me up at night...but there are visions of the places where little Baxter, Valentin, Addison, Lori, Katia could be sent and left to die because I was 'being practical.' I don't like to be labeled impractical. But we live in a topsy turvy world where we prefer to take a sleeping pill and not to wake up to the reality across the sea or even in more disadvantaged areas of America.I don't have 20k-30k to spend on another adoption...we are underemployed at this point. But I also know that with God all things are possible..And I know that most of my beautiful addicted friends also don't have a penny and somehow manage to scratch and claw their way to satisfy the need for another salty chip...I know I cannot possibly partake of all of the 150 million orphans in that vast salty ocean...but while I know how to swim and while more are being tossed into the salty orphan chip bag...I just have a hard time staying in the boat and not reaching in my hand.....I am rambling and I wait.... for an answer, a cure or a miracle....and I hate waiting...
If there is a 12 step cure to my addiction can someone intercede?
Step 11-Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood God, praying only for knowledge of God's will for us and the power to carry that out...

OKAY..I did that and it is HIS WILL that is making me more ADDICTED....

Step 12 - Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to other addicts, and to practice these principles in all our affairs...

ADOPTION ADDICTS UNITE---practice biblical principles in waking up those addicted to complacency and denial

Those of us who have this addiction have been labeled by the reasonable world as having some kind of psychological disorder. To answer that charge I say...'well then it is a sickness God has given me and encourages in the bible..." I really wish more were afflicted by it... we know there will always be suffering...we know we are not God and can't change that aspect of the world..but we also KNOW what God does say...TO GO AND PRACTICE PURE RELIGION...

But while I wait...sleepless...children are taking their last breaths because too many people were being practical....and because I have been told that going in for another chip is CRAZY....HELP ME RHONDA! (who is Rhonda anyhow?)

I need an intervention or a fix....or about 30k and more income and better health insurance...and a cure that will only come when the bag is empty....

In case you feel like throwing 20-30 thousand potato chips in our bag and contributing to this addiction go here..

( i don't really expect anything but am addicted so am a little outrageous and insane for the orphan left in the bag...so thought I would give it a shot---so I'll have more leverage when I try to convince my family I shouldn't be committed to the looney bin....or you can allocate this money for counseling due to our PURE RELIGION insanity...)...

Our trip to Target, Dollar Tree and 5 Below...

2010-10-05T06:45:00.001-07:00

Hey guys we are trying to consolidate our blogs so moving everything over to http://www.mothertheworld.org ...
there are more videos there...but here is one I made yesterday..

Falchook Family Montage-Gravy

2010-09-29T21:23:00.000-07:00

@Adoption The Orphan: THe Pro-Life Missing Link

2010-08-30T20:01:00.000-07:00

It is a poverty to decide that a child must die so that you may live as you wish." Mother Teresa

About a year and a half ago, I was very excited to attend my first national pro-life conference. I was about to release my book “TO BE A MOTHER: ADOPTING GOD’S HEART.” It is a book that chronicles my experience into motherhood following the abortion I had when I was a teenager. I had originally intended to write a book solely on adoption until through much prayer and meditation I was sure the abortion story must also be told. I have since been blessed to have given birth to two children and blessed through the adoption of 4 additional children (one from Guatemala and 3 from Ethiopia). I was very excited to attend my first pro-life conference. I checked in and was given a lanyard to place around my neck with a name badge. I was given a giant plastic bag filled with literature of pro-life organizations. I couldn’t wait to sit down and browse through them. I truly soaked up this conference experience. I loved the people and learned so much about the ‘Life’ issues that were outlined during the weekend breakout sessions. They included the following topics:

Stem Cell Legislation

Eugenics

End of Life Care

Starting a Pro-Life Ministry at Your Church

Domestic Open Adoption

Pregnancy Support Clinics

Sidewalk Counseling

Counseling and Caring for the Post Abortive Woman

Medical Procedures for Late Term Abortion

Roe V. Wade decisions

Students for Life

Global Abortion Issues

How to Cope with Infertility

Blogging for Life

Talking to secular people about abortion….

The list went on and on. I was enjoying this conference but I found myself looking through the bag over and over for something. I emptied the bag and practically turned it inside out. Something was missing.

In between sessions, I walked from booth to booth, table to table and continued filling up my bag. I saw T-shirts. I bought T-shirts. I bought books. I signed my name on lists for newsletters. I enjoyed conversations with many people. I added contacts to my phone. Still, something was missing…

My book “To Be A Mother” was released a few months later. It became a number best selling Amazon adoption book. I started an organization to instill pride and understanding of issues pertaining to Mothers and children globally called MOTHER THE WORLD. I spent the year in what felt to me like two separate universes. I would give my abortion testimony at pro-life conferences. The following week I would talk to adoption conference attendees about adoption. This went back and forth. I kept asking myself “Why does it feel like something is missing? Why does God have me in these two seemingly separate circles?”

Three of my four adopted children are from Ethiopia. They are what some call AIDS orphans (although most of us who have adopted don’t call them orphans anymore). My children are orphaned because their parents died from AIDS. If they had never been adopted they would have either been on the streets to eventually get a disease and die at a young age or just die much earlier than most Americans due to poor health/environment. In a nutshell, their ‘lives’ would be shortened, meaningless and doomed.

My Guatemalan daughter was born in an area known for murdering girls as young as 5 after they are raped by gangs. The gangs do this to maintain control over the villages. They are terrorists. My daughter just turned 5.

My passion has grown so intensely for the orphan over the past 5 years. More specifically I am brought to tears at the thought of many of the 150million orphans who today are left to die. Children in many countries who are HIV+ will die due to lack of proper care. In America we rarely hear of AIDS babies anymore because medical advancements have made it so that babies born to HIV+ mothers can be born without the virus.

Also, children adopted with the virus if brought to America and given proper care will live a long full life. But still they are dying in many countries without anyone to even pray, hold vigil, protest or counsel the mother who has abandoned them at the orphanage steps. These children in some facilities in Eastern Europe are left to starve alongside children with cerebral palsy, cleft palates and down syndrome. Some abandoned children that have been given to the orphanages healthy will go insane due to lack of stimulation, eye contact or tactile touch. In some countries if children are not adopted or fostered by the time they are 7 they will be left in an orphanage to languish, starve or to be sold into trafficking.

One story that I heard recently was of a 7 year-old child in Eastern Europe who was living at an orphanage and asked a friend of mine if she could bring her books next time she visited the orphanage. The little girl wanted to learn how to read. The orphanage director looked at my friend and said ‘Don’t bother her life is meaningless.”

Some girls in India are murdered when born as second daughters due to an outlawed dowry system that still continue to this day. There is an Indian village called “The Village Where They Kill Their Daughters” because there are no girls. They are either aborted or killed shortly after birth. And we know of the little girls discarded and abandoned in China due to the population controls.

My girlfriend Carolyn from Project Hopeful tells me that children orphaned in Ethiopia with HIV will die faster if they don’t think they are going to be adopted. They lose hope and would rather die than live without a family.

There are still 150 million orphans globally. Very few will be adopted. Many are suffering as they starve, are in pain from their diseases or acutely lonely waiting for someone to say “you matter.” For most of them that means that they will die believing they did not matter to anyone.

So, in the past few weeks I have had a clarity that I have been praying for. I have had an epiphany of something so simple. I know so clearly what the missing link is. It is the orphan. When I mention this to my pro-life friends they usually nod in understanding that this is something so simple that they can’t even believe we missed it. Yes we talk about adoption at these conferences but we rarely discuss orphans internationally and how so connected it is to the sanctity of life issue. I don’t recall ever seeing a pro-life break out session titled “How to Practice Pure Religion by acknowledging the Vulnerable Orphan.” I haven’t seen any break out sessions even remotely close to that. Why has this issue been omitted? I believe that because the orphan is so close to God’s heart that somehow this has been so hidden right under the noses of the pro-life movement that we have lost our ability to smell and see what is so clearly evident. The unborn are so important. I know because I grieve the choice to abort my daughter everyday. The sick and elderly in America are also important. All of it is crucial. But that is just the point. It ALL is important. I can no longer attend another pro-life conference that is a broken chain. We can see these children, minister to them and give them life. How can we possibly consider ourselves pro-life when we ignore 150 million human beings whose lives are being disrespected?. How is it that we have avoided this topic in our breakout sessions?

I will say that on the other hand I am not totally comfortable at the avoidance of the abortion issue at adoption conferences either. There are 1.5 million unborn human beings killed in America every year and more globally. I consider them orphans defined in James 1:27 too.

Adoption doesn’t necessarily mean pro-life and pro-life doesn’t necessarily mean adoption advocacy. This fact really gets to me. I have met many Christian adoption advocates who believe in abortion. I have also met many pro-life individuals who have never ever even given a second thought to the 9 year old left to die in Russia due to the fact that no one has bothered to take him for a walk in 9 years. It is twisted to me!

Choose life! Respect life! Sanctity of Life! Chosen! Are these just cute t-shirts and bumper stickers to us? If we believe that we are created/woven by God, how can we discriminate based on age (whether an 8 week embryo or 80 year old alzheimers patient)? How can we omit the 150 million missing links in between that chain in pro-life conferences? As pro-lifers we have miraculously and thankfully remembered the unborn, the ones we can’t see. I am so grateful for that. But we are blinded to children that we can reach out and touch if we make a choice to offer life back to them through adoption, orphan advocacy or proper medical care.

I am making this observation and presenting it to the pro-life community because I believe in my heart of hearts that it is going to be received well. I would love to see a 40 days for the Orphan Campaign or a new pro-life fund started to support those who want to adopt HIV+ or down syndrome baby. But let’s remember that a chain with a missing link is not strong and will be broken.

Jesus wanted us to take care of the orphan. Jesus has been and is being stripped away from this world. To be blunt: there is a battle to abort Christ from the hearts of people everywhere. In many countries the orphan crisis is due to a lack of respect for life that has developed due to the fact that the message of loving the least of these is non-existent. Christianity is dead and dying in many countries. Christ is not welcome. Soon discarding children, disrespecting life becomes accepted as the norm. In America now we are killing people that we cannot see (the unborn, those in nursing homes, in hospitals). Today, in other countries children are left to die in plain sight on the side of the streets and in soiled cribs in government orphanages. If we think we are immune to this happening here in America then we are wrong. If we as a pro-life community don’t step up for the 150 million children that some call in-valid (invalids) then we are just being hypocritical. If we only advocate for the unborn and elderly, then aren’t we as bad as those who tell us that a human being only matters once they are through the birth canal? We cannot become guilty of discriminating against the missing link of living children that have been given life and then abused, discarded, ripped apart, raped and starved. We need to be consistent in respecting life…all life and the orphan is no exception.

My plea to both the pro-life and adoption community is to please fight from being habitual and predictable in your approach to your causes. For the adoption circles I ask that you stop trying to be careful in avoiding the abortion crisis. I ask that you become bold enough to focus on the truth that we are alive because He has knit us in our mother’s wombs. When mothers decide to abandon them they become orphans.

To the pro-life community I pray that we hold ourselves truly accountable. I pray that we don’t get so caught up in our typical routine of only praying at clinics and fighting against abortion legislation. All of this is important! But it is incomplete because the missing link is ignored….Those we call pro-choicers ignore and disrespect the unborn...if we ignore the orphan then we are choosing to invalidate their lives too..

I know some of you may think…”I can’t do everything. I have to decide on what I am standing for.” It is true we can’t do everything. But we don’t have to do just one thing either. And if we stand for one thing let’s stand for the lives of Human Beings of all ages. We can advocate for the unborn and the orphan. We can pray during 40 Days For Life, write a letter to the senator, and hold a fundraiser for an orphanage. I will stand in front of our clinics and pray and I will also be happy to advocate for a viable human being to be kept on life support. I will do this even though my passion leans heavily to advocating for the lives of the orphan who have remained totally invisible in some circles even though they are massive in number.

The next time I attend a pro-life conference I really hope there are brochures and literature advocating for children like mine and the ones still without families. I hope and pray that I can watch as my passionate pro-life friends take the plunge to “unorphan” one of these discarded children whose lives have been forgotten in places like Africa, China, Russia……I know that if I can get my hands on any of the bags given away at the next conference I will be filling it up with MOTHER THE WORLD brochures to encourage orphan awareness. I am starting to work on them tomorrow in anticipation that the pro-life community will no longer be comfortable holding conferences with a broken chain and missing link…MOTHER THE WORLD!

@ChristianAlliancefororphans "Pure Extravagant Religion"

2010-08-30T16:09:00.000-07:00

In 2000, I was blessed to be the contracted band for the wedding of Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones. It was an exciting time for me. I was in my element on the Plaza stage leading my band of 16 musicians, surrounded by A-list Hollywood cele

brities and honestly, I didn’t feel out of place. Granted, I didn’t feel like a movie star but I did feel confident in my abilities as a young band-leader. This was not a typical wedding. It had been reported that they spent 3.5 million on the wedding. And while most of my weddings were not 3.5 million dollar weddings most of them were in the 200-500k range and several a year were million+ dollar weddings. I had played the Plaza hundreds of times before thiswedding and on this night felt at home and at ease enjoying gazing at the movie stars on the dance floor and at their tables from where I was at center stage.

At one point during the night, I stepped back from my position in the front line of the band to hand the microphone to Art Garfunkel another to Jimmy Buffett, Steven Stills, Jimmy Webb, Bonnie Tyler and Mick Jones from Foreigner. I then sat down giving cues to the band while they performed. I remember being infinitely aware that this was probably the pinnacle of my success as a NY bandleader. I have done many parties for celebrities since then and before. But this wedding stood out. But as I sat on the stage, surrounded by Grammy and Oscar winners, a thought passed quickly through my brain. “NOW WHAT?” I was acutely aware that even though I enjoyed being there and loved my job, the level of fulfillment was only ‘so-so’. In the months after this wedding I started to become annoyed with people wasting 80k on flowers

that I would see thrown into a garbage bag or the dumpsters filled with filet, salmon and caviar. This also was just about the time that I started to feel pulled toward the orphan, adoption and other issues related to children and people struggling and suffering in America and around the world. I developed a really bad attitude about the spending that occurred at these weddings, parties. I would tell myself “there are children dying of Aids in Africa. All of that food could feed a village in Guatemala!” I became a bit undone….

But something changed a few years later as I started to indulge myself in thinking about the Extravagance of God. I am not going to suggest that we should be wasteful, but sometimes it really is okay to use the best wine all throughout the party. Jesus’ first miracle was turning water into wine at a wedding….(and really good ‘port’ wine apparently). My oldest daughter and I watch ‘SAY YES TO THE DRESS.” I am shocked at the 7000 dollar dresses. I hope my daughters know that the $7000 dress is probably not in their future, but there are times when it is appropriate to be extravagant with your children and throw a wedding or party to celebrate their life. I pray we can be extravagant in our love to each other like Jesus is to us. Sometimes this will come in the form of extravagant food, clothing or parties… but mostly I hope our actions can become invaluable treasures and contributions to the world.

When we decided to adopt our children we had to make a conscious decision to sacrifice our lifestyle, our prior way of existing in order to pour out our hearts and souls to these children. Most people I know who have adopted children are not rich but it is as if they have consciously made a decision to ‘bank on God’. In other words, they are playing the ‘God market’ not the ‘stock market’. If we believe that the center of God’s call to us is to serve and take care of orphans and widows (James 1:27), then are we also willing to invest in the church of PURE EXTRAVAGANT RELIGION? God calls this type of service to orphans and widows and diminishing the world’s influence on our lives- PURE RELIGION. Do we have more faith in our worldly pension plans and new 30k cars and big houses than we do with taking a leap of faith to pour all we are and all we have onto the feet of Jesus’ call?

I love the story of Mary (the prostitute) who poured out the most expensive oils onto Jesus’ feet. She took her life savings in the form of oil to anoint the feet of Christ and fill the environment, the house, the community with fragrance. Extravagant love really means pouring it into God in a gesture of faith without boundaries.

John 12:1-11 Jesus arrived in Bethany where Lazarus lived. The home that they were in didn’t belong to Lazarus though, it was, according to Mark 14:3, “Simon the Lepers” home. Most of us would never ever think of eating in a lepers house. And many of us would never consider adopting an HIV+ child or allowing the HEP C child to play or wrestle with our kids in our living room. But Jesus went there to eat. Jesus would play with the HIV+ kid, He would give His love extravagantly back to the down syndrome baby and the child crying at the side of the road. Jesus gave His life extravagantly. It was a good time at Simon the Leper’s house. It was also a place where something miraculous and truly great took place.  Mary enters the room and brings Jesus a God honoring offering. She approaches Him, breaks open her alabaster jar, and pours it all over his head. She then falls to her knees and pours what is left on his feet and wipes it with her hair.  The fragrance of the perfume fills the room as tension fills the air.  Judas rebukes her.  But the Lord Jesus is just as quick to honor her. Jesus blessed her gift and made sure that her selfless act would be remembered forever. Jesus visits the home of the Leper, dines and then allows a prostitute to pour out the oil she bought from selling her body in sin to men onto His feet. This boggles my mind. Jesus enjoys when sinful people extravagantly honor Him in serving Him, in glorifying Him. Mark 14:9, “I tell you the truth, wherever the gospel is preached throughout the world, what she has done will also be told, in memory of her.”  

So a few months after the famous Plaza wedding I stood at another wedding at the Plaza. The father of the bride told me that they almost lost their daughter to cancer when she was a child. They popped the most expensive champagne for her wedding. The father gave a toast in celebration of his daughter being given life when they were sure she would die. I watched on realizing that an expensive wedding was appropriate…I still wondered and was frustrated at what seemed like wasteful spending at other events and then I realized that each one of us is precious….

Today my (neice in law-that means my brother in law’s niece-) was laid to rest. She was 10. Her name was Giovanna. She died of cancer. I think about how blessed she was to have extravagant love poured onto her as a child surrounded by loving parents and family. I know that had she lived to see her wedding we all would have wanted to pour the expensive champagne.

I think about Gio and I then think about all of the children in the world who do not have one person to lay vigil as they die. I think about all of the children who will never have a champagne toast in their honor because they have no mother or father to shower them with love.
I think specifically about a little boy named Baxter in Eastern Europe who is HIV+ who may never have a chance to learn how to read or ride a bike because no one was extravagant enough to ‘bank on God’ and pour extravagant love onto him…I cringe and am brought to tears in thinking that he could die without one person laying vigil at the side of his bed. And I think about how he has a ‘disease’ that if treated is totally manageable…if only someone was willing to be extravagant enough to bank on God and pour their savings on him (like Mary did to Jesus).

Today I was at a birthday party where two adopted children were pampered and surrounded with love. I think about my little girl and my friend’s daughter and I can understand how their lives are worth well more than extravagant love..the kind of love that would fill a room with expensive flowers on their wedding days. I remember how my girlfriend and I prayed for these children and how it seemed risky to ‘invest’ in these children who were qualified and considered by some to be ‘unplanned’ and ‘unwanted’.’ But in ‘banking on God’ with them the incredible thing is that we are the ones that feel like we are soaking in some kind of expensive oil of Christ’s love.

What is more risky? To commit to abiding by Pure Extravagant Religion by ‘banking on God’ or sitting comfortably while the ‘world’ or ‘wall street’ brokers control our life savings….? Shouldn’t we want to be saving lives rather than committing our lives to saving?

When the groom comes back to His bride (the church) after being gone for awhile, and asks, “So how are my children? Have you been making sure that you are caring for them?” What are we going to be able to say?

I hope we can turn to the One and say….”Beloved I poured out everything we have on these children because you told me that in order to honor you I had to take care of them and not be influenced and polluted by the world…so I took all we have saved, every flower from our garden I have bathed them in, every rich fruit I have fed them with and with the most expensive linens I have clothed them with…….and I am amazed to see that new flowers are growing, new fruit is budding and I have filled your closet with the finest silk and velvet from gifts that have been laid at our doorstep…”

What do we believe in ?

There are 147 million orphans…many are dying today. Some of these children do not have one person to care enough to even pray for them. Some are left to starve naked because they are handicapped and have no one to even bring them a banana. Christ wants us to clothe them, feed them and open our homes to them (Matthew 25:31-46).

I remember being on the fence with not knowing whether we should throw an investment onto our children via adoption. I remember being afraid but I know now that I am not going to ever regret the choice we have made to ‘bank on God’. I will never regret pouring what we had saved onto the feet of God’s call to ‘go’ and adopt these children. I know that had I been a goat standing in front of God as someone who failed to recognize the face of Jesus in the eyes of these children I would have wished I had taken the step to join in participating in “Pure Extravagant Religion” while I was still able to.

My children may never get the 1 million dollar wedding. But I no longer judge or criticize the work I do. I realize that there are times that as parents we should pour into our children in celebrating their lives extravagantly. It just grieves me knowing that each life deserves celebrating but for 147 million orphans that rarely means a birthday party. It grieves me to realize that each birthday deserves the special party with tea and dress up and gifts, but so many children have no one to say “we are so glad you were born!”

Get out the good oil….pour it into God’s bank…live your life extravagantly for Him. Believe in Him and be able to look Him in the eye and say “we recognized you when you were a stranger, an angel unaware in the form of the orphan child .We took you in and poured out the finest scented oil on you….then we celebrated Your life and lived and practiced Pure Extravagant Religion for the rest of our days!” And it is a pleasure to be where we are surrounded by the pleasure of Jesus.

Boy am I Getting Ugly!!!

2010-08-26T21:45:00.001-07:00

It was a long ugly year. It was also one that I will never forget. I learned so much about ugliness this year and discovered pure amazing beauty as well . I learned that when we step out to reveal our own ugliness, we disarm pretense, we create a safe house in our presence for others and we find that there is liberty in expressing truth and ugliness. It is sort of like washing off the thick make up we had been wearing for weeks on end just to go ‘au natural’ with a clean and freshly washed face. Each wrinkle, sunspot, pimple, mole, in the light of day is beautiful in its authenticity. Kicking off the three inch heels we have worn to give us stature only to run barefoot, feeling the sand, mud, water, in-between our toes, shows us how alive we really are when we walk in humility. Exactly a year ago I released my book, “TO BE A MOTHER.” I was reluctant at first to tell my story about the abortion I experienced and the deep pain, regret, shame, guilt and remorse that I felt. But through prayer it was clearly revealed that this story of God’s grace and redemption must be told. The day before the book was released it dawned on me how naked I would be and how ugly the truth was in my past. I was so afraid and doubtful but knew it was God’s will for it to be written in all of its naked ugly truth. The best lesson I have learned this year is that God loves me as ugly as I can be and as ugly as I have been. I have stood in front of women (whether it is one woman or a crowd of women) in my ‘ugliness’ and reminded them that they are loved and of value because God tells us that we are significant in our imperfection and ugliness. We try so hard to keep the make up applied, the high heels on and the pencil skirts pressed. But sometimes our quest for beauty just makes us feel dirtier and uglier by worldly standards, when we refuse to let the scars be shown. Sometimes the most beautiful parts of us are our scars, moles and age spots that we try to hide.

I expressed my ugliness to a Mexican woman walking into her abortion and gave my testimony for the first time ever in bad Spanish. She ended up keeping her baby. She smiled and waved to me as she left the clinic. I felt beautiful even though I was wearing sweats and a baseball cap.

I told a crowd of women of the ugly day that I wanted to kill myself post abortion. Later, after the event, a woman volunteered to help me carry my things to the car. She confessed her own abortion. I was the first person she had told in 27 years. She cried. We laughed in liberation in the empty parking lot outside of a conference center. We both saw how free she felt once she confessed. It was a beautiful day even though it was cold and rainy .

This summer I was present when a baby was born that had been close to being aborted. I had shared my ugly story with the mother. She shared many ugly stories of her life to me. We both saw Jesus in the face of this child and felt beautiful even though we both hadn't slept in 48 hours.

I was present when a friend of mine had a nervous breakdown in front of my eyes. I don’t believe she would have been able to express her ugliness had she not known of mine. I watched later as she pulled herself out of it and developed an acceptance of her own ugliness. We found beauty in Christ’s grace that day….

I am a different woman now. I have been transformed through ugliness this year. I am so grateful to Jesus for moving the mountains inside of me to make me comfortable enough sometimes to sit in the ugly valley and know that I can make it up to the mountain top to view His beauty too. The ugly valley in all of its ugliness is sometimes where He wants us to be in order to show others HIS true beauty.

I thank God for surrounding me with women comfortable with the ugliness of this world. I thank God for friends like Carolyn, Traci, Leslie, Cindy, Diana who will pick up an ‘ugly’ HIV + child and open their arms and homes to them only to see God in their eyes.

I am grateful for my new friend Teresa who will go into orphanages in the Ukraine and hold and hug an ‘ugly’ child left to starve to death because he has cerebral palsy.

I thank God for Lynette, Sundy, Deborah who will shine a spotlight on the ugliness of human trafficking.

I praise God for Denice and Pam who are relentless in their passion to save the ‘ugly’ unborn babies.

I thank God for Rebecca and Madonna who hold their 'ugly’ down syndrome babies and love them unconditionally.

I thank God for Jodi who is willing to go to ugly places like Haiti and Uganda or advocate for the orphan in DC revealing the ugly truth about an at times flawed process...

Thank you Jesus for Eileen who with her relentless Kolfe Mama attitude unorphaned Solomon who is sure to breathe new life into America representing all of the 'ugly' street kids and discarded children in Ethiopia.

Thank you God for Elaine who has never met a teenager or young adult that she didn’t want to put her arms around and call ‘child.’ There are too many young adults who never know the comfort of a mother. I have to believe the world is a better place because she faced her own ugliness and was able to embrace their’s with joy and acceptance.

I am not the same as I was a year ago. The ugly truth has been a direct and fast path to witness unbelievable beauty that was unavailable to me when I tried to cover up my spiritual blemishes. My friends are beautiful with dirty fingernails that have dug into the messes of this world. I feel so much more put together these days as I walk with these ‘dirty fingernailed’ women. We dig deep, searching to find, as Mother Teresa put it “Jesus in disguise,” in the orphan, trafficked, post abortive and so called flawed children of God with their ugly diseases, birth defects and so far from ‘Gerber baby’ demographic faces. The women I call my friends these days are not the ‘pretty women’ type by worldly standards either. But I believe it is fine with us because our quest is not to fulfill an image of acceptance from the world. We are ‘ruined’ for the world and may never be perceived as beautiful to anyone looking at us with expensive designer rose colored glasses. My friends and their children are beautiful even if the world calls them ‘ugly’ sometimes…WHO THE STINK CARES!!!!! We are alive and more beautiful walking with mud in our toes, dirty fingernails and our messy, imperfect children. Such an honor to dance next to girlfriends like mine with their muddy feet and scars exposed for all of the 'pretty perfect people' to see….

Thank you Jesus for beautiful friends bold enough to run, walk, stumble and fall in a very ugly world!!!!!

Do it Yourself Laundry Detergent

2010-07-22T11:50:00.000-07:00

Okay i am so excited. I am going to share this recipe for home made laundry detergent which I believe originally came from the Duggars but I got it from my really good friend Carolyn Twietmeyer the wonderful mother of many amazing kids from birth and adoption....I have been noticing that detergent has been priced around 12-15 for a large bottle and because we go through so much I have
been opting for the extremely cheap laundry detergent but this is saving me tons of money. I think for the recipe below I probably spent 2-3 dollars......it will fill up 8 bottles ....

Ingredients:
4 cups hot tap water
1 Fels-Naptha soap bar ... See More
1 cup washing soda
½ cup Borax
Grate bar of soap and add to saucepan with water. Stir continually over medium-low heat until soap dissolves and is melted.
Fill a five-gallon bucket half full of hot tap water. Add melted soap, washing soda and Borax. Stir well until all powder is dissolved. Fill bucket to top with more hot water. Stir, cover and let sit overnight to thicken.
Stir and fill a used, clean, laundry soap dispenser half full with soap and then fill rest of way with water. Shake before each use. (It will gel.)
Optional: You can add 10-15 drops of essential oil per two gallons. Add once soap has cooled. Ideas: lavender, rosemary, tea tree oil.
Yield: Liquid soap recipe makes 10 gallons. Top-load machine: 5/8 cup per load (approximately 180 loads). Front-load machine: ¼ cup per load (approx. 640 loads).

Kids first trip to Cemetery Video!!!

2010-07-21T18:56:00.000-07:00

I know this is sort of creepy...but the kids were so funny with their first visit to the cemetery. I love how kids can be so real even in otherwise somber places...

Welcoming Solomon (Kolfe Boy) Ethiopian Orphan to America

2010-06-24T20:05:00.000-07:00

Amazing miracle in the lives of the Mestas family as their son Solomon who they have spiritually adopted is now here in America from the Kolfe Orphanage in Ethiopia now here on an education visa to study to be a pastor. I am once again showing the video I shot of Eileen about 7 months ago along with two videos from our time yesterday at the airport....to greet Solomon into America...

Foster Kids speak on Aging Out and Wanting Families.

2010-06-11T18:51:00.001-07:00

Chilli gives her ABORTION Testimony!!

2010-06-03T19:06:00.000-07:00

I know that not all of my INJERA HOTDOG readers are prolife but I just found Chilli's testimony to be strong and courageous..So rare when people in entertainment come out to discuss the negative aspects of abortion. So many people in the entertainment industry advocate abortions.. She was very brave to talk about this! Her testimony with inspire many women to pause and reflect about the ramifications of abortion...

ESTHER as told by Matea

2010-05-22T19:17:00.000-07:00

So, I am in the car and Matea goes on and on about Esther. I say "matea will you tell me later into the camera?" She says 'sure"...I never told her this story but it was told to her by her preschool teachers...incredible that she retained it....Matea lives up to her name..she really is a 'gift from God!"

The GREAT Church!!!!!?????

2010-05-12T20:39:00.000-07:00

I have been pondering my life a lot lately. I have been realizing how much time I have spent chasing after greatness. I am not chasing after greatness in the sense of being a celebrity stalker or believing I should solicit dinner invites to the White House. But I have spent a fair amount of my life working on ‘being great.’ Most of us have been told from time to time how 'great' we are. Because of loving the way it feels to be told I am great I then will aspire to approach my passions with excellence therefore anticipating a GREAT outcome. When I was little I loved getting praises and adulation when I would do something simple like ride a bike. Then I became a 'great' poet at a young age. Then I was this 'great' softball pitcher. Then I was 'great' at community theater, singing, dancing and singing at the same time. As I grew up I aspired to be the best New York City bandleader and ended up being that. I longed to be a 'great' mother. My husband and I had great credit scores and a great nest egg because we had great jobs. In being entertainers you often hear “Great Job!” “You were great tonight!” “Great Voice!” “Great band!”

Well human greatness is a fallacy. I tried really hard at the age of 18 when I found myself pregnant to continue to appear "GREAT." In trying to hide my unplanned pregnancy I had an abortion because I knew no one would consider an 18 pregnant singer/dancer "Great!" We should aspire for excellence while knowing we are human. Most people that many of us consider great are not. And many of our friends or relatives are also on the ‘greatness gravy train” and can’t get off. They spend their days trying to appear to be great when in reality they are far from it. The abortion I had in an attempt to appear 'great' caused my to be at risk for breast cancer at a 40% increase due to the induced abortion. I also fell into a depression that caused me to contemplate suicide.

Many Christians aspire to appear 'great.' I think as Christians we can have very large egos. In fact, we even pride ourselves on being the most humble which is ironic to me. We preach on humility and service but then when not on stage looking ‘great’ totally drop the ball. I will tell you what prompted this post on greatness today…

Today I was in a church. The church has been called a ‘great’ church. The building is modern. The staff is dressed really hip. There is coffee and give away mugs in the lobby. There is a casual atmosphere which implies an approachability to the staff at the church. The ladies bathroom is painted perfectly great for the women with great conferences listed on the bulletin boards. The hallways are filled with international goals in ministry. The church hosts concerts by well-known Christian artists. From the worldly viewpoint it looks like the church is doing ‘great’ work for the kingdom. One of the great works it is advertising was the race to raise funds for breast cancer. All of us believe fighting breast cancer is a great cause. And I believe that whoever put the sign up sheets up in that church had no idea that their fund raiser would inadvertently be a slap in my face and for other post abortive women who walk into the church. I believe the people who put up the signs and sheets had the best intentions....but if they were aspiring for doing a 'great' thing they should know that that particular organization contributes to an atrocious practice...abortion. Susan G. Komen has been known to give money back to Planned Parenthood an organization that advocates and promotes abortion and therefor the increased rate in women to be at risk for breast cancer. There are many studies linking breast cancer and early induced abortions (Videos attached to this post). Women like myself who have had abortions experience a 40% increase of risk of breast cancer. So, for me when I see a sign in a church and banners promoting this organization that is giving funds back to abortion providers, well it is just hypocritical and is just salt in the wound. Think of it this way: How would you feel if your church was promoting a race to stop lung cancer and you knew the money was going back to Philip Morris an organization that creates cigarettes. Then how would you feel if you lost a family member to lung cancer and the church continues to pour money into that organization that advertises and promotes giving cigarettes to children, teens and women. How would you feel if you had had an abortion and were already genetically at risk for breast cancer but were not told that that abortion would increase an average woman to 40% increase and to those already in the risk factor to a higher degree???? Shouldn't the church fight hard to be accountable with what they promote? In early Roman history, babies were left on the side of the road to just die and it was the Christians that would save them. But what if there were chariot races that were all the rage just racing by babies and yet all of the Christians found these chariot races to be a vehicle for them to raise money for the people who would own and build a field to allow the babies to die in (sort of a death field).

I was upset that this church had these signs out and a banner up. I believe there are better ways to raise money to fight breast cancer and I for one wouldn’t want to place my money into something that was going to cause the very thing I was fighting against. Would God want us to be that kind of steward to our money? So, I decided I would have a confidential conversation with the pastor. I asked in the morning. The receptionist said they were in a staff meeting. So I asked if it was okay if I came back in the afternoon. I told her it was a personal matter. I didn’t feel like telling everyone the story of my abortion and facts over and over. When I arrived in the afternoon I was visibly upset by this. It would appear that even though I have been through therapy, bible studies and healing-churches that avoid and dodge the abortion issue still really get to me. I said “Can I see the pastor for 5 minutes?” I do respect the time of the pastors but this was an exceptional case and plus I believe Jesus came to bend some overly stringent rules. I said “Please!” There were tears in my eyes. Well the receptionist would not relent and even closed the door on me. This is what got me on the greatness kick. Here is this ‘great’ church with women in cute pink sweat suits and sneakers unaware of promoting abortion and potentially more breast cancer, and a pastor who won’t ‘minister’ unless the crisis happens when it is perfectly timed. What if I had been contemplating suicide? What if I was a pregnant parishioner contemplating abortion? I started crying not because of the oversight with Susan G. Komen but because it was clear that this 'great' church had no interest ministering to a person unless it fit into their rules and schedule.

Maybe if the church wouldn’t be so concerned with having perfectly great schedules in great buildings they would actually be in God’s business of saving lives and not APPEARING to be doing mission work. Wearing pink stuff for a walk can appear very Christian and ‘great’ until you google things like “Susan G. Komen and Planned Parenthood.” Or “Abortion Breast Cancer!” This church isn’t alone. There are many that honestly don’t care about abortion even though the bible tells us that He formed us in our mother’s womb.

My credit score is no longer great. I spent lots of money traveling to Ethiopia and Guatemala to adopt kids. I don’t think I am the NY bandleader rock star that I once was because I have been spending time talking about motherhood and not focusing on booking the band. Our work situation is not ‘great’. My mortgage is in pieces and far from ‘great.’ I probably will never be fabulously ‘great’ again. But I am tired of qualifying for some certificate of ‘greatness’ that has never come. I do desire thought to be the "CHURCH" with a capital 'C"...it bothers me that I couldn't find the big "C" inside this little 'c' church that I only the day before had considered 'great.'

Jesus is great. Jesus is greatness! He acknowledged people hurting and had an open door policy. He hated hippocrites. Jesus says we are all adopted by Him. Jesus talks about the sanctity of life and walked a rough path with a cross after being beaten bloodied. There was nothing , cute or hip about a donkey with a mocked Jesus on the path….He would have been mocked a fool in these days too. But He truly was great!!! We should all get off of the ‘I want to be fabulously great treadmill.” We are not ‘great.’ We are sinful and flawed humans. But our intense passion for greatness and perfection has created some awful and evil stuff (such as potentially financing abortion by getting involved in a trendy event.) I am going to try to be more aware of how many times in my days, in my life I try to appear more than I am. I want to be more aware of how often I take credit for something ‘great’ in my life that is a miracle from God….

I came home today sad…defeated because when you dive into God’s plans you really start to see how not ‘great’ you are…..but then I went online and was introduced to David Platt who has given me hope that the GEN Y’s will reclaim true Christianity…I hope that my kids can live the radically Christian life which has nothing to do with our quest for ‘greatness’ but everything to do with JESUS’…

#Mother's Day Tshirt with $20 donation

2010-05-02T16:04:00.000-07:00

To become an official MOTHER THE WORLD Sponsor donate $20 or more and get this MOTHER THE WORLD Tshirt for free as a THANK YOU(a great gift for Mother's Day)...Also, there is a link to additional gifts for mom at the end of this post...I am seen here with Elaine Bateman MRS. KENTUCKY in our MOTHER THE WORLD T-shirts

If interested in more Tshirts feel free to buy these from our link below. These are additional purchases outside of the promotion listed above...

Ella tries to sing National Anthem in Broken English

2010-04-28T06:47:00.000-07:00

Ella came home from school so proud of learning the National Anthem. Because English is not her first language and she is still learning she has a ways to go before July 4th but should have it down by then..

Living Water for Girls

2010-04-28T04:58:00.000-07:00

I spent last weekend at MOMMY IN TRAINING and had a table next to LISA WILLIAMS..the director of Living Water for Girls...this is an amazing story and there is a huge need for care for trafficked women.

BIrthday with Grandpa Jones and Kids!

2010-04-21T18:53:00.000-07:00

I took this video in September when we were in Illinois. My Dad was so funny and so sweet...I then thought I had deleted the video and then found it today...so excited...

VIDEO of BAYOUSH-First glimpse of MOM in 5 Years

2010-04-20T06:59:00.001-07:00

(this pic is of YEMI AND BAN with Grandma Atalay, KIBRU (kids brother sitting), Yidneckachew (in white /red standing behind KIBRU and UNCLE(standing next to Ban)

It has been a beautiful day for us. Tonight we had the pleasure of showing our kids a picture of their mother. When we adopted them in 2008 they were not given a picture of their mom. They had been in the orphanage at Layla House in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia for 18 months before we adopted them. Prior to that they had spent at least a year trying to live between their Grandma's house and great grandfather. So, it has been about 5 years since they have laid eyes on her face. About a year and a half ago, my friend Carla took a trip to Addis and was so sweet in desiring to take a long trek to try to get a picture. THis would entail driving to Asela (a few hours away) and finding the great grandfather's house and then trying to convince him to take them to see grandma. Well, we had also given Carla a photo album with many pictures of the kids in it. She handed the photo album to the great grandfather and his friend who identified herself as our kids AUNT....she also took video. But she was unable to go to get the pictures. At the time I was at least happy that we were able to get a photo album to grandma Atalay (great grandpa's daughter). When my kids saw the video they adamantly said "THAT IS NOT MY AUNT..THAT IS GRANDPA'S HELPER!!!" Well we have discovered now that HELPER translated into modern english means MISTRESS...So, we had the HELPER's phone number. Last month our friends YEMI AND BAN (also known affectionately by our kids as family to us) went to Ethiopia. We did not tell our kids but the plan was for them to try to get a picture of mom. They called the HELPER'S phone number and she said she would try to find grandma and the teenage brothers (there is also an uncle who is quite young and very bright). But days went by and she never called. Well, when we had visited in 2008 we had a cell phone number that was given to us during our visit by Getish (Yemi's brother in law). THe young uncle and MARK (who had the phone) exchanged numbers. Well a miracle had happened and a few days after the HELPER (forgot to deliver a message)...the UNCLE called Getish remembering he had the phone number. Getish then said YOU MUST COME TO ADDIS NOW!! And he asked him to bring grandma and Kibru and Yidnekachew, my kids biological big brothers. And Getish said he would pay the travel fees (by bus) if they brought a picture of MOM (Bayoush).

Well they came...and they were elated because they thought we took off with the kids with no desire ever to make contact. The grandmother had been concerned that the kids were dead. She had suffered so much loss/death in her life...so cried with delight in Yemi and Ban telling them all about their lives here and telling the story of how we brought pictures last year. Well Great Grandpa and HELPER had never bothered to tell her or give her the pictures. Grandma now has some pictures of our kids and we now have the correct phone numbers, and mailing address within ethiopia to call to deliver things.

So, last night we had dinner with Yemi and Ban...we still did NOT tell the kids about the pictures. After dinner we had Ban sit down and show the picture to them. At first Ella was unsure of who she was, Grace knew immediately and with pride said I LOOK JUST LIKE HER...I had made oodles of copies because I knew they would want them....Then Andrew is so brilliant and wanted to make sure that I had a picture ready of the only photo I have of Matea with her birth mom ALMA....

So, this was a very sweet and early MOTHERS DAY...we are elated,,,we are relieved. We had spent two years wondering if we would ever have a picture of their mom....When I look into Bayoush's eyes I am in awe. I am saddened. I am thrilled and I am also comforted. I really felt that somehow, in ways that are unknown to me, we had connected with eachother. She will always have a special place in our lives. I have told my kids that LOVE expands like a balloon that never pops...and I want them to feel free to show their love to her, to ALMA (Matea's mom), to all of their grandmothers, aunts, uncles, brothers. It just shows them how vast and extreme God's love is for them. There is no abandonment. There is only an outpouring of God's continuing love for them in the large family that God has adopted for them and for us. It is incredible to see.

The kids placed her picture in their rooms and I know that they slept easier last night knowing that they don't have to worry anymore that they will forget what BAYOUSH looked like. And grandma can also sleep well knowing that she made a wise decision in extending the family of her grandkids. And we are comforted knowing that the boys are thriving and taking care of grandma and that we now have real phone numbers and real addresses...to make contact with.

AND as a woman who has grown up being photographed by a genetically inclined familial love for photos....I have learned that pictures are powerful and can bring so much peace and joy to a situation. I love the pics..I will continue to take many and VIDEO...and I PRAISE GOD!! for hearing the prayers of our hearts in bringing this one inch photos to us (that we have very boldly enlarged a million times)...

#Adoption Picture of Bayoush

2010-04-13T19:21:00.001-07:00

Well we are so thrilled to finally be in possession of a picture of our kids mom Bayoush. I just said to Mark as we were staring at her two pictures tonight..."It is sacred, sad and satisfying to have these pictures."

Just to update those of you who don't know. We have three Ethiopian children who were orphaned by the death of their parents from AIDS. When we came to Ethiopia to get them they had been in the orphanage for over two years. And there were no pictures of their mother anywhere. Once they were home the younger kids would cry saying "I can't remember her face!' One day we went to a restaurant, I watched as Grace my now 11 year old stared almost pale faced at the hostess. Later she said "Mom, that is what she looked like!" I said "who?" She said "my mom"..I said "oh honey she was beautiful" Grace said "yes she was"...she did not take her eyes off of the hostess that day.

My friend Carla went to Ethiopia and was so generous. She volunteered to go all of the way to Asela (at least two hours out of Addis) to search for the Grandmother. The plan was for her to visit the great grandfather who would then take her to the Grandmother who would have the pictures. BUt when she went to see the Great Grandfather she gave then the photo album we had made of the kids and then because of time/distance they couldn't visit the grandmother. Carla made a video of the grandfather and the so called AUNT and the kids very annoyingly said "that is not my aunt. we no like that lady"...it was a mistress to the grandfather.

So, my friends Ban and Yemi had finally been given their US citizenship after being in America from Ethiopia for 15 years. This last month they visited their very large and extended family in Addis. We had one phone number of the 'mistress' and a plan. We wanted to find out where my kids teen age brothers were, contact info and pictures of Bayoush. Ban called the lady who promised she would deliver the message to the boys who never called him back. Then Getish (Bans brother in law) remembered something. He said "when Mark and Deanna were here they used our cell phone during the entire visit. The uncle (he is about 18) has called me. I kept his number." So, Getish calls the Uncle and then tells them that if they come into Addis via bus and bring both boys and pics of Bayoush we will pay for their trip. Well they were thrilled because from their perspecive they had NO info on the kids at all. Our pictures which were sent and letters had never made it to them. So, now they came all the way to Addis were given updates of the kids (the pictures we sent didn't upload unto Bans computer) and were able to deliver the pictures....We plan on printing pictures and writing letters to send to them when my friend Carolyn visits in two weeks.

We are not posting the pictures yet. The kids don't know. We want to tell them with Ban and Yemi in the room because we want all of their questions to be answered. All I can say is there is a part of me that is so at peace right now. We do promise to post the pics later. But right now I just stare at the pics seeing all three of my kids in one face...and wondering why did she have to die? Why do I get to mother them? How can we stop the deaths from AIDS in Ethiopia so more women can actually LIVE even with HIV...? My heart is so connected to this woman that I never met. This family loved these children so much and we feel so blessed to have this extended family..Ban said that Grandma cried during the entire meeting. What an incredible woman. I can't wait to get pictures to her. To write to them and to be able to have a phone number to call them if and when we visit....amazing...

She is beautiful really really beautiful!!!

HOPE INTERNATIONAL-Changing lives with MICRO LOANS

2010-04-11T18:37:00.001-07:00

STOP TRAFFICKING with FreeSet Shirts

2010-04-11T16:01:00.003-07:00

Mother the World is launching a PARTY WITH A PURPOSE (think AVON meets Compassion International)...In a nutshell, we will be focusing on such hands off topics like trafficking, hiv, street kids, domestic violence and of course the massive orphan crisis...all in a cul de sac party....we are researching FAIR TRADE products ...it will be a while to develop and we'll start with our current tshirts etc...but man we were so excited to see this company FREESET....

Mother the World: Can't or Won't

2010-04-10T20:17:00.001-07:00

I just spent an awesome day on Friday in Atlanta with Carolyn Twietmeyer and Traci Heim from Project Hopeful and Anna Belle Illien and her staff from Illien adoptions. We basically are finding strength in brainstorming in numbers even when we all had to establish a hand raising system because we tend to interrupt at times (guilty guilty and guilty again…said I)…Anyhow, somewhere early on when Traci and I were gabbing and not caring when we would interrupt eachother I said something that was so dead on to my passion in my MOTHER THE WORLD mission. I have trouble being concise. I can write books that need to be edited down because of too many words ..having enough material has never been a problem…being concise and having an ‘elevator pitch’ has always been a struggle.

So there I was with another MOTHER of the World (Traci) and I said it like this and I had to fight stopping dead in my tracks and holding back tears as it came out. I said “ I have a passion to honor the women who CAN”T mother their children by inspiring the women who WON’T mother to take action.” Please know the context of the statement. We were talking about the huge orphan crisis and how to bring the number of orphans hope and love. Do you remember being reprimanded as a child by the dour school teacher who would look up from their glasses and say “you can’t or won’t?” Some people literally can’t …others just Won’t…because they have been insulated and determined never to look at the fostering situation in America, domestic abuse, HIV, Child trafficking, cultural abuse.

Women who CAN’T in America:
1. Women who are infertile and desire to parent
2. People who can’t due to serious mental or physical disablilities
3. Those addicted to alcohol or drugs

Women who WON’T in America:
1. The women who get pregnant but abort
2. People who believe adoption is not their calling so do nothing
3. People who have no interest in the orphan crisis
4. People who would like to do something but never have due to not being introduced to proper options or ways to take action…

There is a distinct difference though in the mothers that I was talking about when making that statement because I was thinking of the mother of my Ethiopian children. She died and couldn’t mother….

Women who CAN’T in impoverished countries:
1. Women who know they will die due to diseases like AIDS, MALARIA, TB..they know the last possible act of love for their children is to make a life decision for them. Some relinquish them at orphanages due to knowing their pending death is coming.

Imagine desiring to MOTHER with all of your heart and yet knowing you “CAN’T’ because you will soon die because the AIDS MEDS are not coming your way. Or you never even knew about them. All you have known is that women die and there are babies and children without mothers….so, you make a decision for your children out of love….

I will never forget the day in 2007 when I prayed to God to USE me to be the answer to the prayers of a mother somewhere on the planet who could no longer MOTHER because of her pending death…I cried to God to allow me to be her angel and come. Every time I look into the eyes of my 3 Ethiopian children, I see her. Her name was Bayoush. I imagine she was beautiful even though we have no picture. She was young when she died….I think of her often. She is a huge motivation in my starting MOTHER THE WORLD…

My quote or new elevator pitch: “ I have a passion to honor the women who CAN”T mother their children by inspiring the women who WON’T mother to take action.” There are people who won’t do anything and I believe they just need to be educated properly on what they can do…so we need to find them and get to them.

In case you haven’t caught on yet “mother’ is a verb that applies to taking action to love, give, nurture, care for…it doesn’t require giving birth..it can take place in adopting, advocating and volunteering..It does always mean though honoring and respecting life from conception to natural death.

My motivation for MOTHER THE WORLD also comes from once being a woman who was one of the ones who “wouldn’t” mother. The underlying inspiration of MOTHER THE WORLD is really from my own wound from NOT mothering and saying NO to mothering in having an abortion as a teen. I was one of the women who I now say are the ones I am determined to inspire to take action. So, here I am now healed and with a deeper understanding of who I am and of what it means to ‘adopt God’s heart.’ These days the women who CAN’T haunt me …because there are too many of them. And although it is a blessing that I get to honor God by serving them in mothering their children, something is still not right.

One of the things we talked about in this little ‘consortium’ as Anna Belle Illien called us all, was in helping women with HIV/AIDs to live longer lives in places like Ethiopia, India, Guyana by investing in them and offering them hope …obviously offering ways for them to get their meds but also in finding ways for them to have longevity, to dream for a future where they can be the ones to see their kids graduate, get married.

What can the women here who WON’T do? Well I think with the right motivation they will turn into women who WILL make a huge impact in changing the planet by changing the lives of many. First, it would be great to see more people adopt and we are planning on ways to offer education and information to dispel the fears of adoption to many. But it also would be great to have more resources to offer life and sustainability abroad for women like BAYOUSH…imagine if she would have had the right meds and the right resources through micro-financing, business opportunities, education…We can help the women here who WON’T or haven’t taken action to participate in making major changes in the lives of women they will never see. So, I am praying everyone stays tuned as in the next several months we come up with ways to hopefully create options in a world that currently offers so little to the women internationally who CAN’T but would love to MOTHER their children into old age. And if you know of women who WON’T …well we also believe we have ways to inspire and transform them into active humanitarians even without ever leaving their cul de sacs…my plan is to allow them to MOTHER THE WORLD without missing their kids soccer games…but if they are really bold they can travel way outside of their subdivisions and come to some exotic places with us if they’d like to…

So my new elevator pitch is once again this: “ I have a passion to honor the women who CAN”T mother their children by inspiring the women who WON’T mother to take action.”

Mother the World: Can’t or Won’t?

Donate to Mother the World and Get Free TSHIRT

2010-04-01T09:55:00.000-07:00

Child Witches in NIgeria...Pray for their Safety and to End This

2010-04-01T06:53:00.000-07:00

This is not Christianity but rather a perfect example of how local tribal belief seeps its way into indigenous churches that claim Christianity but create their own rules based on satanic teachings as well from generational cultural practices. Jesus abhors this and cherishes children. Please pray for them..

Great Adoption Video! God's Heart

2010-03-22T19:16:00.000-07:00

ORPHANS crying out for HOMES

2010-03-21T20:18:00.000-07:00

“a house is not a home
When there's no one there to hold you tight
And no one there you can kiss goodnight”

I have 4 children who were once orphaned. My youngest Matea is now five but born in Guatemala. My other three “orphaned” children are from Ethiopia and have been here since 2008.

Last night I went out for a meeting with our church small group. My baby sitter was my friend Elsa Mugyenzi. She is Ugandan and also an orphan. She is now an adult and was one of the original members of the African Children’s Choir. So, Elsa was in my house with the ‘for sale’ sign outside with my 4 adopted ‘orphans’ along with my other kids, inside.

My husband and I love old classic music. One song we love is “A House is Not A Home”…it is a lush beautiful song with a great lyric that talks about a house not being a home when the person (or people) you love are not there. I have been thinking so much about this lately when pondering the possibility of our moving to another house and having to sell this one ( a house built specifically with my ‘orphaned’ children in mind). On the one hand I have noticed a certain entitlement attitude within myself that is not really all that attractive. I seem to think that God would want my kids to be in a mansion because of all of the strife they have experienced. I feel as if they have earned this and we have earned it in stepping out to parent them. On the other hand I have been made aware through friends like Elsa and from my own personal travels that in places like Africa that two dozen orphans can live in a 300 sf shack with one single ‘mother’ who has adopted all of them. Orphans live quite frequently in this world without a house and quite frankly ‘without a home.” 147 million orphans have lost at least one parent. Approx 20 million have lost both. Others have parents but are abandoned by them with no house and certainly without a ‘home.’ God loves the orphans but the world leaves them HOMELESS (even in America). God calls to His people to practice pure religion and take care of orphans and widows. Still, most are living like paupers.

In my neighborhood and most neighborhoods in my town there are many houses of 2000, 3000, 4000 sf with just two people living in them. There are houses with women and men ‘longing’ to be parents but grieving their inability to conceive. I respect their grief and remember longing to conceive prior to birthing the two I have birthed. But there are also children sleeping on the street crying and praying for parents, shelter, a blanket, running water or a bite to eat. There are many rooms in my town that could be filled with these street orphans or the orphans like my kids orphanage friends still praying for parents to come to give them a “HOME”. So, what is my point?

When I think of the journey my kids have taken in their short lives it boggles my mind. Matea is 5. She has been with us since she was 8 months. She was birthed in a hut in Peten, Guatemala..at 9 days old she took a trek on some mode of transport with her teenage birth mom to Guatemala City (several hours away) to be relinquished to a foster mom in a small house in Guatemala City…six weeks later that foster mother had been found to be unfit and Matea was put into the arms of an amazing foster mother named Elena for the next 7 months. She lived in a 2 room house with 4 kids ranging from the ages of 5 to 15 and two foster parents. Then one day at 8 months embarked onto a plane to America with us where we lived together in a 3600 sf home with 2 other kids and 2 parents. Then in 2008 we moved to the 6700 sf home we are in now….

Jared, Grace, and Ella lived in several houses prior to entering their first orphanage. They were born in Asela, Ethiopia in houses with mud floors. They bounced between their grandmother, great grandfather’s and mother’s house. They lived in Addis Ababa later with their mother near death. They then moved back to Asela…They talk about the time of sleeping in hay bails in the barn or by the chickens. Then after their mom died they were separated from eachother lived in grandma’s and great grandfather’s home. Eventually, they were put into an orphanage together and then another…and eventually they were brought to our house in America after we traveled to Ethiopia to get them ….to live in quite frankly …a mansion…(mcmansion).

What is a home? A house is not a home…this we really believe. My kids don’t mourn the loss of the orphanage, their grandfather’s hut, or even their mother’s house. But they grieve the loss of family or the HOME that they lost when their mother and father died.

Elsa Mugyenzi and I talked about our house. Elsa has a room in our house that she calls her own when she baby sits. We feel very homey in my house. Elsa mentioned that God wants to house all the orphans in homes and they deserve big houses. But most don’t live like royalty. Some will only know the street until they too pass away from diseases or sicknesses…Some of the sicknesses will be chronic ear infections, diarrhea or the flu…diseases/sicknesses that are treatable by simple meds. Even HIV can be controlled offering a long life for kids without a house..if given a HOME…..

What do orphans need? They don’t need big houses. They can live in apartments. They can live in rooms that they share with other kids. They can even live with grandparents. My kids sleep on floors when we travel to friends or relatives and don’t complain. They dream and are content. Orphans don’t need houses they need homes. They need people who have square footage and empty rooms to be willing to be bold enough to step into the desolate huts and sheds that house the orphans who cry out for Mama and never hear “I’m coming!” They need people willing to travel into their dangerous world in order to offer hope and a future that they pray for everyday. They need bold people willing to sacrifice their houses and worldy stuff to create a home for a wanting and needing child. People in America constantly talk to me about wanting to adopt but not having enough money, or a big enough house …but the truth is that those of us who have walked this walk have witnessed numerous times how God has provided the funds for adoption. Yes, many of us struggle at times through loss of jobs etc…but it is all relative. Our downsizing or our troubles in America often dwarf the extent of stress our kids have seen by the time they reach age 5 if they are lucky enough to have survived.

The word of God tells us to go and take care of orphans and underprivileged. In Matthew 25 Jesus equates taking care to those who lack as being the equivalent as welcoming Him. He also shuns and turns away those who did not take care of them saying:

Matthew 25: 41"Then he will say to those on his left, 'Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. 42For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, 43I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.'

44"They also will answer, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?'

45"He will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.'

These are really bold and scary words. But Jesus takes the business of taking care of those in need seriously. We may not all be called to adopt, but we are called to take care of the least of these.

Please remember the children like Kidist who wrote to me to help her find a family telling me she prays every day for a family. There are children who are beautiful and still in orphanages simply because no one has been bold enough to adopt an ‘older child.’ Children in Ethiopia and in America like Kidist eventually ‘age out’ and are put out on the streets after never having a mother a father or any parenting that will prepare them to take care of themselves. Please consider sharing a room in your house or encouraging a friend called to adopt to take the leap!!!!!

“Now and then I call your name
And suddenly your face appears
But it's just a crazy game
When it ends, it ends in tears”

A house is not a home when there’s no one there to kiss goodnight!!!!

Family Trip to St. Pete's Beach with Falchook's

2010-03-20T17:52:00.003-07:00

Matea's Birthday Dinner of Green Eggs and Ham

2010-03-18T20:15:00.000-07:00

Matea talks about a BRACHIOSAURUS

2010-03-18T19:49:00.001-07:00

Family Chaos in a Photo

2010-03-18T19:35:00.000-07:00

We had a great time at a photo shoot today at Green Acres Farm . Our friend Chris Florio is taking photos everyday of the year...we were day 261 it was really fun. To see more of Chris' pics go to his website here FLORIO PICS. This is the only pic we have currently and Sam is not in it. We will somehow photoshop her into the clouds...

Kids say the Darndest Things: What is the Meaning of LIfe? My 5 Year Old Answers

2010-03-15T16:22:00.000-07:00

Sandra Bullock-Hollywood and ADOPTION

2010-03-08T18:43:00.000-08:00

Aren’t we frustrated at times by the lack of attention that the orphan crisis is getting? When you think
of the fact that there are 147 million orphans globally and more than ½ a million children in the foster care system in the US alone, well it is mind boggling to think of the ‘void’ in mothering, fathering, parenting that exists in the world. Those of us who have adopted internationally sometimes get frustrated when people come up to us and say “Are you trying to be like Brad and Angie?” I get asked that a lot with my 3 Ethiopian kids, one from Guatemala and two by birth. I have been known to take an attitude sometimes regarding Hollywood that is negative perceiving most Hollywood stars as superficial with their plastic surgeries and complaints over how many millions they are making. We are saddened about the premature deaths due to drug addiction or anorexia of young starlets like Britney Murphy. The Hollywood elite are dysfunctional, no doubt. But I have yet to meet a group that doesn’t have a ‘dysfunctional’ component.

This year the movie “Blindside” was released bringing excitement and pleasure to so many of us who have advocated for the kids in foster care, adoption of older kids and adoption in general. Last night I was so pleased to hear Sandra Bullock’s acceptance speech for her lead role in the movie:

“Here’s to the moms that take care of the children and babies-no matter where they come from.”

When we think of Hollywood and international adoption we automatically think only of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt or Madonna. Imagine what a powerful impact Hollywood could make if more movies were made like BLINDSIDE or if more power couples would venture to places like Ethiopia or Thailand to adopt. I like to imagine what impact a movie on HIV adoption would make or a film or of families with down syndrome babies? I am excited to watch now to see what happens when producers, directors, actors, film companies start usinghttp://www.thewrap.com/files/u3568/bullock.jpg their gifts to advocate for the cause of the orphan. I really really look forward to the day when Angelina and Brad are no longer an exception bhttp://www.thewrap.com/files/u3568/bullock.jpgut the rule. I look forward to the day when people don’t stop me on the street fascinated by the rarity of seeing a family like mine with 3 African children, one Hispanic child and two born via C-section. “Here’s to the moms!” I pray that the mothers who just happen to be in the public eye will opt to adopt in spite of the fact the critics will call it a trend. I personally wouldn’t mind if the latest trend would be saving children from living without parents. Oh..if only it were a trend…but when only a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of the number of orphans are adopted, it is hardly a trend. But I have a feeling we are going to start seeing the media used to promote this so called ‘trend’ big time..I really really hope so…….

Yay Sandra…thanks for remembering to spend a little bit of your 30 second speech on what matters, reminding people of the power of Mothering the World..Awesome!!!!

Laughter Through the Storm-Mother's Day Concert

2010-03-02T18:42:00.001-08:00

So, I have been wallowing a little. Stressed about having to put my house on the market etc. Last night we had a meeting with our realtor. I was really bummed. DON'T WANT TO HAVE TO SELL MY HOUSE...MY DREAM HOUSE! Anyhow, after he left. I was sad. Sat down at the computer and decided I would FACEBOOK my friend Jennifer Gilmore. Jennifer was one of our first friends to help us schedule concerts at churches when we first moved here. I sat down and decided i would contact a few people about setting up Mother's Day concerts and talks/luncheons etc. Then I saw her profile post:

"attended a touching funeral today. It is never good when a 40-year-old wife and mother passes away, but boy did she leave a legacy behind that will see them through...beautiful thoughts on life that her husband, friends and family can share with the children as they make their way through life. I'm sure that when the r...ain comes, they will dance! We all need to dance. :)"

I then thought that maybe it wouldn't be a good idea to talk to her about a Mother's Day concert right after a young mother lost her life to a mysterious illness. I thought I would give her a day or two. Then out of curiosity I went to the blog of this woman who had just passed. Her name was "Caroline Ellavsky". Her blog is called LAUGHTER THROUGH THE STORM . I read her blog and was brought back to reality. She talked about keeping perspective and remaining positive. She was inspiring. She wrote. Had plans to pursue her dreams in writing and writing screenplays. She also had a heart for orphans. One of her children is adopted from Russia. In reading her posts, I really really related to her desire to write, her love for orphans. In a nutshell, I felt I had discovered a woman who should have been my best friend. Then it reminded me of how lucky I am to have written a book that made it to the number one spot on Amazon and how blessed I am to be LAUGHING IN THE STORM. Mark and I are writing a book called "Do I Have Obsessive Communion Disorder? A Confused Christian's Guide to Church." It has been such a blessing to us because we have had moments of laughing sooooooo much in the midst of our job issues/loss of income/decrease in gigs/downsizing our house. And Carolyn just blessed me in being such an example of grace under pressure. Joy in the midst of pain....SO, I have decided to turn my frown upside down and if possible Jennifer and I are arranging a concert at First United Methodist Church of Cary around Mother's Day in honor of Caroline and Mothers in general. We will take a love offering for her family and remind other Mothers to pursue their dreams...laugh during the storm and live each day with a gusto...and we will definately talk about adoption and orphans...

Pray for the Ellavsky family and that they still can remember Caroline laughing through the storm and that they too can feel such joy in remembering the Mother and woman she was....PICS OF CAROLINE HERE

The Sea of Orphans

2010-02-28T12:35:00.000-08:00

My girlfriend Jodi came back from Haiti this weekend. And like many of my friends who are getting their hands dirty in the fields of the fatherless, I know she will never be the same. I know Carolyn, Kellee, Linda, Eileen, Carla, Elaine, Rose, Lisa and all of my sisters and brothers in Christ who have adopted or advocated for the orphan will also never be the same. Today I wrote another parable. I tend to gravitate toward writing that way when I am feeling deep emotions that I can't quite articulate in the real world. I am dedicating this to all of my sisters and brothers in Christ who are forever transformed after experiencing contact with one or more orphans. But while this is dedicated to all of you and I have written it identifying with my own experience with my 4 adopted children. I want to dedicate this to Jodi Tucker who has had an obvious transformation from her experience with HORT (Haiti Orphan Relief Team). I pray for supernatural processing and guidance for her and all of us because there are more drops in this ocean to save...ENJOY MY PARABLE

The Sea of Orphans (by Deanna Jones)

Everything was fine. The only problem was that in spite of the fact that everything was running smoothly in her life, she knew that something or someone was missing. One day she couldn’t resist the call to stand at the shore of a vast ocean. She knew that there were at least 147 million droplets in that sea, crying out to be freed from drowning as the waves of isolation, tragedy, calamities and diseases would violently crash into them. They were merely floating out there without a life jacket or branch to hold onto, hoping to avoid the waves. So, she stood there at the shore. There were other curious onlookers standing there on the shore. They watched as a mother standing on the shore swam out to offer hope and a home to a few droplets. The mother swam back in, exhausted yet transformed in a way that she would never be able to explain. The onlookers could see on her face that while she was pleased to have saved a few small drops, she couldn’t help but remember the ones still out there waiting for a brave swimmer. The sun then would set and most people would go home, forgetting about the millions still fighting to survive. But the woman who had a fine life stood at the shore longing to find a life that was better than ‘fine.’ She suspected taking a dive into that sea would transform her, yet she heard warnings from others. “You have a fine life. Don’t mess with it. Those droplets you bring into your life will ruin you.” She wanted to go deeper but noticed that in the hours she spent watching at the shore, very few of the thousands of onlookers ventured in. She closed her eyes. She heard a voice that sounded like an angel, “Go, save my children!” She knew that diving in would mean she would be the center of attention to those looking. She knew that people would talk about the woman with the fine life who took a dive to change everything. They would whisper “How could she be so crazy to try to ruin everything that is acceptable in her fine life.” Most of the onlookers believed that ‘acceptable’ was the best way to live their lives. The woman with the fine life didn’t think it was acceptable to just stand by and watch as the 147 million innocent droplets were destroyed by the pending waves. So, she dove in. Something heavy washed over her. It was a powerful wave of fear and doubt but as she swam over those waves she eventually swam like an expert surfer or life guard. She grew stronger with each stroke, persevering through the pressure of the pending waves. She passed by many droplets drenched in tears but kept swimming to move into the place that called out to her. Then when she arrived to that calm place drops of rain fell into the ocean and poured over her already drenched body. She floated. She allowed the cool healing rain to pour onto her. Then she took a breath and took a dive into a deep deep place. She met with an Angel of the Lord who handed her 4 precious droplets safely encased inside a beautiful treasure box from the sea. The Angel reached out his hand and said, “God is pleased! Now swim back and take care of these 4 precious droplets.” The Angel of the Lord then told the woman to swim back fast as there were more pending disastrous waves coming to engulf the 146 million, 999 thousand, 996 droplets that were still there in that ocean. The woman with the fine life pleaded with the Angel saying, “But let me take more! Please let me save them all.” The Angel said to her, “Take your 4 and love them. God will take care of the rest!” The woman with the fine life swam back to shore memorizing the way that each of the droplets that were left behind looked as she passed them. She came out of the ocean with her treasures, happy to have them but eternally ruined!!! Her ‘fine life’ was ruined. But now her new life was better than she could ever have imagined…She took care of the little droplets. She watched as they turned into children and then adults with great lives who longed to swim in that sea and carry back droplets just like their mother did. Nothing was the same in their mother’s life after she took that swim and saved those 4 drops. She now lived a life that was no longer ‘fine’. That life was ruined. But as the old life was destroyed a new life was created with more depth, more meaning, more significance than she could even imagine. She now lived a great life and never ever regretted taking a dive into that ocean. She still runs into some of those people that stand on the shore and stare into the waves wondering and waiting to watch as another woman with a fine life decides to take a swim. But they are rarely seen swimming even though every year more droplets fall into that ocean.

copyright 2010 DJO PUBLISHING. If you would like to reprint this parable please include following credit. Copyright 2010 DJO Publishing. Parable by Deanna Jones author of #1 Amazon best selling adoption book TO BE A MOTHER...For permissions please inquire at http://www.mothertheworld.org Reprint by permission only...

Never Homeless with the Lord!

2010-02-27T19:57:00.000-08:00

I have been a really bad blogger recently. I am so sorry. But to be honest with you I am just processing so much in my life. We have our house on the market now. It is stressful. But all in all, I am reminding myself of perspective. I live in a huge, gorgeous house that we worked really hard for. It is almost 6800 square feet. Our business slowed down and now we have to downsize. When I put the ‘for sale’ sign up one of my neighbors called me. I have had only 2 conversations with this woman in the two years we have lived here. She said “Deanna this is really disturbing!” I have to say that I acknowledge that for those people who live in the type of suburbia that our NC town offers, well she may consider a neighbor with a large house selling…’disturbing’. But in all honesty with this economy the way it is, it is really the norm. And it is more disturbing to me to know of all of the homeless people in Haiti without water or a toilet or food or parents. So, I tell my kids that we have to count our blessings. We will still have blankets, food, water and a roof that doesn’t leak even after we sell. It is interesting though talking to my kids about moving. When children have lost parents and watched them die, been uprooted tragically, moving means something different. So, everyday I have to remind them that the move doesn’t mean that we will not be a family anymore or that someone won’t be coming with them. I tell them that it is just a house. Still, Grace cried today thinking about how much she misses her brothers in Ethiopia. I can’t help but think that this move has fed into her insecurities and fears of losing a loved one or disconnecting from family. So, how do we get through a move with children previously orphaned? We pray and daily focus on the positive. Still, there is a grieving process for all of us. We thought we would be here forever….still God is on His throne . We feel Him more, perceive Him more and are hearing Him more than we did when we first laid out the blue print for this house. I have written a song that I spontaneously sing around the house.

This is my home,
And its where I wanna be,
Living in your presence,
With your grace upholding me….

This is my life,
And the only thing I own,
Is faith you’ll walk beside me,
No matter where I go,

There are many mansions,
In my Father’s place,
There is always room,
There’s always space…

This is the world,
And when it all just disappears,
I will not be homeless,
For my Father holds me near,
I will not be homeless,
For my Father holds me near….

The house is irrelevant. All of my professional life, I have been longing for a deeper perception of the Lord. During those times, I had no money problems, no struggles and could buy whatever I wanted…but I also lacked the intimacy I now have with the Lord. “Living in His presence” is what I am striving for at this point in my life. And none of the mortgages, or room colors or square footage matters. In the Heavenly places that God resides in, my earthly house means nothing. I long to live my life while I am here so that I can hopefully, be allowed to live eternally in a place where there are many mansions and lots of beautiful sunshine and music. So, I choose to invest in His plans for me whether that means to be living in an apartment, in a mansion, in a bungalow or a hut or out in the open air….all that matters is that I am enveloped by His love and basking in the shelter of His arms. I am okay with that and know that there is nothing disturbing about residing in the presence of God….Praise Him for this amazing time that we are living in!!!!

Adopted Kids in The Dollar Tree learning about ToiletTREES....

2010-02-22T10:49:00.000-08:00

WARNING: DO NOT LET YOUR CHILDREN USE MOUTHWASH UNATTENDED...

Shadowing the Unplanned Pregnancy

2010-02-19T20:26:00.001-08:00

SHADOWING THE UNPLANNED PREGNANCY

When I met Carol on 1/22 I had no idea what to expect in helping her to traverse the difficulties of basically being alone in the world through this unplanned pregnancy. When we volunteer to help someone in need we really need to understand that we are making a commitment that we can’t back away from. These days things are really hard for my family financially. We are now in ministry, working to truly delve into bringing awareness to issues of Motherhood etc. But because of that we also are struggling with mortgages etc, while also being the financial lifeline to friends in need , like Carol who is now 16 weeks pregnant.

I have learned so much through her. We get along very well, but I am struggling with boundaries and priorities. When you have several kids of your own and yet have made a commitment to HELP someone, you have to learn quickly how to balance the needs of your family and the very important needs of your new friend.

Carol is very resourceful, beautiful, bright and inspiring. Still, I am learning that being in ministry such as this is sort of like being a contestant on the BIGGEST LOSER….Actually, I think there is a good argument that ministry itself is like being on the Biggest Loser. Each day you are challenged with pushing yourself to places that may be uncomfortable. Each day you are asked to persevere. Each day you are asked to give up things of this world in order to find your way to the ultimate prize. So, it can feel grueling and hard to trade your previous life and habits for a more uncomfortable life that ultimately leads to big rewards…..but the sacrifice is real, it hurts, you sweat, you crave comfort and you have to find it in the depths of your soul to push through another mile on the treadmill….For me, this means, fighting the desire to go back to my very comfortable life of working to get more gigs that pay well but that don’t really make a huge difference to the Kingdom of God. But I long for the comfort of days passed…but I am so well aware that today with Carol, with Mother the World, I have the opportunity to run toward a prize that resides in the Kingdom of Heaven….Yes,,,it feels better to go back to the relaxed secure stage at the PLAZA HOTEL and strut around singing in my sequins and rhinestones (and we will take as much work that comes our way), but ultimately the choices I make today to step into the stress of ministry will be more valuable in the long run. I don’t recall saving a life while singing the song “I WILL SURVIVE’ or “BOOGIE OOGIE”. But in the past year and a half have witnessed several lives saved through this ministry. Yes, we invested some of our ‘band’ money in adoption….but this is a new day. Life should be an adventure and we should aspire to answer the calls when they come to us. In regards to Carol, the call literally came during dinner one night. The call to MOTHER THE WORLD is one that on face value looks as if it is all about simply featuring mothers talking about their kids, adoption, child advocacy…but at the root and heart of it is MY WOUND….Mother the World exists because of a deep desire in my heart to help to develop a pride of Motherhood that will resonate to the next generation, so that if girls are faced with an unplanned pregnancy they will instead first think only of life and working toward being a mother. So, in shadowing Carol through her unplanned pregnancy, I hope that I can learn and gain a perspective and practical information as to how to advise other women like myself who may want to step into the role of ADOPTING A MOM….I think women who keep their babies in the midst of potential homelessness, lack of food, job loss are really courageous. I implore more women to somehow make themselves available to help other women through this sometimes very isolating experience. Shadowing the mother or ADOPTING A MOM can be so helpful in making the woman feel no longer isolated but ‘hopeful.’

This week I stayed with Carol as we went to the Department of Health where I saw many isolated mothers struggling to fill prenatal vitamin prescriptions, get Medicaid approval for prenatal visits and maternity care. I learned about the ins and outs of ‘food stamps’. I was thrust into a world that I had only heard of. These are real people simply trying to embrace LIFE (their own and their children’s). I am seriously prolife…but I would be a hypocrite if I said that it is easy to walk through an unplanned pregnancy. It isn’t. Still, I push through as I learn and am blessed by Carol. I feel like there are these invisible angels cheering me on. I think of the trainer on biggest loser yelling “keep moving’….Sometimes I feel like I weigh a thousand pounds….but in the end, I believe both Carol and I will come out of this feeling more fit and more beautiful in the end…even without my ‘chick singer’ rhinestones and sequin gown. Life is getting interesting,,,even more interesting, hard yes…but ‘deliciously sweet in the unexpected, unplanned moments that the Lord is putting in our paths…it is all good…tomorrow a new adventure awaits us!!!!

Was Star Wars based on the Book of Luke?

2010-02-19T18:41:00.000-08:00

Our dear Ethiopian son Jared is now seven years old. As I write this book, I can say that after 2 years of being with us in America and learning English, he is starting to understand the language better. But he still has a ways to go. One wish we have for all of our kids is for them to grasp whom Jesus is. So when our Amharic speaking kids first came to America, we had our Ethiopian friends speak to them in Amharic about Jesus. I watched with tears in my eyes not understanding a word as Yemi and Ban, knelt down and told Jesus stories in a language that I didn’t understand (with the exception of ‘shintabet’ and ‘zimbaloo’ – which mean ‘potty’ and ‘quiet’). We have been going to church every Sunday with them for 2 years. We have Bible studies in our home. We go to church and watch as Jared and the other kids go to Sunday school. We lead worship, play Christian music and I have a confidence that my husband and I are doing an excellent job exposing our kids to Christ and Christian principles.

Being a typical boy, Jared adores superheroes. When he first came home from Ethiopia, he would run around the house with a blanket tied around his neck like a cape, shouting “goola-lantay, goola-lantay!!” At first, we both thought that he was saying something heroic in his native Amharic. We eventually realized he was trying to say “GREEN LANTERN!!” Well last night we were sitting at the kitchen table, and we were talking about the crucifixion. Then my older son Andrew said, “I don’t think Jared really understands who Jesus is.” I said, “Of course he understands. Jared, how did Jesus die?” He said, “On a cross!” I looked at my son Andrew and said, “See, he knows.” Andrew said, “Mom, ask him more questions.” I said, “Jared why did He die on the cross?” Jared looked at me with complete certainty and said, “The “Joyce” follow Him with white green lasers and shoot Him. Then the “Joyce” capture Him and put him on the cross.” I said, “the ‘Joyce’? The ‘Joyce’? What is the ‘Joyce’?” Then with a sudden trepidation, it finally dawned on me that he was saying “DROIDS”. Jared said, “yeah mom, the ‘Joyce’ (droids) shoot Jesus.” That was when I really felt like an awful Christian mom. I came to the shocking realization that our adorable but confused son Jared had somehow merged the story of Jesus’ real life with the story of Luke Skywalker in the Star Wars movies! I don’t know if the bible’s Book of Luke inspired George Lucas to create Star Wars; it’s possible, but you’d have to ask George Lucas. I am just a confused Christian and really don’t know. But I do know that our son Jared believes that Roman soldiers and Droids are one and the same. When he hears, “I am your Father” he thinks that Darth Vader is God. He believes that Jesus looks like Mark Hamill. I am Princess Leia with two cheese Danish stuck to the side of my head thinking “I AM AN AWFUL CHRISTIAN MOTHER!!!!!”

Grace's Spotlight on Student Award!

2010-02-16T19:49:00.000-08:00

The first time I saw a pic of my three Ethiopian kids I couldn't get over how sad and simultaneously poised they looked. I was specifically struck by laying eyes on Ejigayehu who we later gave the American first name of Grace because she looked so poised. We had later found out that the day the pictures were taken were also the same day that she had been left at the orphanage by her Grandmother who loved her dearly but could no longer care for them. Grace's eyes were clearly bloodshot from crying.

When Grace left the orphanage I couldn't believe how beautiful and excited she was to approach her future in America. She just exudes poise, finesse and 'grace'. She has impressed us with her focus on her studies, always with a positive attitude.

Things are rough these days. We have just put our house up on the market with hopes that we can simultaneously get our bank to agree to some form of loan modification. Business is slower than usual and in all honesty from a worldly perspective things are tough.

Still, we feel the Lord more than ever and are watching as our ministry is being birthed. Tonight we were pleased to watch as Grace won a SPOTLIGHT ON STUDENT award by the Wake County Board of Ed. This means that the staff at her school nominated and chose her to be honored due to her hard work and success at persevering through adversity. As we stood there watching, Mark would remind me that although things are tough, watching her is all worth it. Knowing the path we have all taken be a family in the way that God has willed for us is miraculous. There are no regrets and that is something not everyone can say. My real estate investment may not currently be in the best shape but the most incredibly secure investments we have made are in our children. Each one of them are miraculous. I couldn't help thinking of what a privilege it was tonight to be able to witness something Grace's biological mother would never get to see. I kept thinking of ways for us to get pictures of this night to a far off village in Ethiopia to show her Grandmother who left her at the orphanage in 2006 in hopes of offering her a better life. I would like to say to Grandma Atalay that she was and remains an excellent mother and grandmother to our kids. We wish she would have been there with us tonight.

The spotlight was on Grace tonight but somehow I believe God wanted us to be reminded of the blessings and gifts he showers on us even when we have a For Sale sign on the front lawn...God is good and our children are thriving....Thank you God for everything....

Hero Moms in Haiti Speak in 4 Part Series

2010-01-22T07:58:00.001-08:00

Kellee Metty, Linda Graham, Lisa Lewis talk about their amazing experience in the Haiti earthquake and their adventure delivering babies in Haiti. The church is KINGS PARK INTERNATIONAL

Linda my Hero Friend Delivers Babies in Haiti Earthquake Aftermath

2010-01-18T16:44:00.000-08:00

Haiti Earthquake MOM Survivors/WELCOMING!

2010-01-17T19:42:00.000-08:00

These are friends of mine from church. I spent some long hours last night waiting for them to come home. Their stories are incredible.....Pray for total healing and that they don't suffer from Post Traumatic Stress or Survivor Guilt.

Haiti, Pat Robertson, Titanic

2010-01-15T08:49:00.000-08:00

Imagine the Titanic crashes into the iceberg and you are the first ones there on an adjacent yacht. You watch as tons of people are jumping into the frigid water hanging onto pieces of pool furniture or they are treading water unsuccessfully. And then you have the resources or at least some to save many but part of your leadership on the yacht says….”hey let’s evaluate this situation. How did they get into this predicament anyhow?” Meanwhile, you continue to watch as people are shouting ‘help me, help me”…you start to ignore the conversation at the helm which is comprised of a very old and out of touch ‘should have been retired years ago’ captain and just start throwing the life preservers over board…People are screaming, drowning and you watch as the team in their tidy whitey captain outfits stand talking about history, or how scientifically they could have avoided this very real disaster.

Two weeks ago I was spending most of my waking hours focused on the atrocities toward second born daughters in parts of India, where the girls are killed after birth as infants because of a dowry system that is outlawed but still very much in practice. I was determined to try to figure out how to stop this practice single handedly from my subdivision home in Cary, NC. I was also really really upset about the female sex selected abortions there along with the fact that now young men can’t even find brides because there is a clear discrepancy in the balance between men and women. There just aren’t enough brides. Then I saw research that said that the infanticide as well as the female sex selected abortion leads to increase in prostitution as well as sex trafficking. Many young women are kidnapped, brought to Mumbai’s red light district from Nepal or even from schoolhouses in Mumbai and then forced to be prostitutes. So, I called a woman named Anna Belle Illien who has an adoption agency in GA dealing with India. Through my conversation with her and my experiences with feeling overwhelmed before about issues in Ethiopia, China, Uganda, Guatemala…I came to a conclusion. I can’t save the entire world.

I have my organization MOTHER THE WORLD. But have really accepted that I am a first responder. I have to be there to pull drowning children, people, out of water, give them mouth to mouth and save as many lives as possible. Should we be analyzing why we hit the iceberg or how we could have avoided disaster or why there is evil in the world? SURE! But when do we have the luxury for that? NOT NOW! There are too many orphans in the world to be mothered…too many kids without families in America and too many people to mentor…I just don’t have the time now while the world is in this condition to spend my precious time over analyzing history.

This week Pat Robertson said this about Haiti:

"Something happened a long time ago in Haiti and people might not want to talk about," Robertson said Tuesday on his 700 Club show. "They were under the heel of the French, you know Napoleon the third and whatever. And they got together and swore a pact to the devil. They said 'We will serve you if you will get us free from the prince.' True story. And so the devil said, 'Ok it's a deal.' And they kicked the French out. The Haitians revolted and got something themselves free. But ever since they have been cursed by one thing after another."

http://newsweek.washingtonpost.com/onfaith/undergod/2010/01/haiti_the_devil_and_pat_roberton.html?sid=ST2010011304487

Honestly, I love Jesus so much and don’t want to get in an argument right now with Pat Robertson so I will just say this “SHUT UP AND THROW OVER A LIFE JACKET!!! WE CAN HAVE THE CONVERSATION WHEN THE TWO YEAR OLD IS PULLED OUT FROM UNDER THE 3 TON SLAB!!!”

My girlfriends that are all mothers were there patching up wounds, delivering babies with guaze from the CVS. This is what we should do. AND I disagree that the people don’t know Jesus. If they are all so overcome by the devil why were some of the reports and blog postings these:

“Things are really bad here. The palace fell down, the hospital, the cathedral, everything. “The city is dark and the people keep singing for Jesus and saying ‘Hallelujah’.

http://www.theworld.org/2010/01/13/international-response-to-haiti/

MS. ANNE ROSE SCHOEN: What they do right now, they put tables and chairs on the streets and they sit there and they wait. They don’t want to go into the houses because they have damage and they are scared that they will crumble down which is true. When you have an aftershock then everybody shouts “Jesus” and “Please help me God”. It is a very eerie situation.

"People were screaming 'Jesus, Jesus' and running in all directions," said Reuters reporter Joseph Guyler Delva from the capital Port-au-Prince. "It's total chaos."

Apparently the missionaries who have been visiting Haiti for years have penetrated into the hearts of the people. I stand corrected! Jesus himself has penetrated into the hearts of these people. But that isn’t even the point either. Do we interview people before throwing life jackets and say…if you are ‘saved’ then I, Christian person here will save you.” I don’t remember seeing that anywhere in the bible…In fact, let’s even save the devil worshipers and tell them about Jesus once we stitch up the gash in their foreheads. Jesus came to save. We are His hands and feet. ‘Shut up! And throw the life jacket in.”

I have settled into the fact that MOTHERING THE WORLD isn’t going to mean that I can save everyone or that I have the luxury of spending my time over analyzing the cause while newborns in Haiti don’t have formula and their mothers were just squashed by a 5 story building. Yes, adoption legislation can and will be changed but I am determined not to get caught up these days in taking a microscope to the Titanic when people are still crying out HELP ME I AM DROWNING….it is just not the time. They are calling out for Jesus and we are called to be HIS hands and feet…let’s be intentional with that and careful not to be the mouth piece for something that isn’t of Christ. Hands and feet…the body, working, responding, loving, caring, not judging…Christ is MIGHTY TO SAVE but I don’t believe He would have stood by ignoring the drowning people while preoccupied with a Historic conversation about the French…..

North Carolina Moms first Responders in Haiti Earthquake!!!

2010-01-13T17:46:00.000-08:00

I spent Sunday after church in the usual manner, trying to gather all of my 6 kids from their various Sunday school classes. All of us church moms quickly whisk by each other with our quick “hey Linda I have your casserole pan in the car.” Or “Are you coming next Friday?” while grabbing our kids, placing Sunday school craft projects in our purses or under our arms as we put on jackets and hats of our little ones. We greet our closest friends quickly with our focus on making sure our families all are in one place so we can march back into our SUV’s or minivans and ‘off we go’ to our slow cooker lunches. Our quality adult time seems to be in small group meetings on Friday or Saturday nights when we can arrange baby sitters. Or we meet our girlfriends over coffee at Starbucks during the week or set up lunch dates. This past Sunday I called out to Linda, my church ‘sister’ and said “hey Linda we have to get together it has been almost a month.” Linda says “Come over today at 1:45 and pray for Lisa, Kellee and myself.” I call out “are you okay?” She says “Yeah, just having some prayer time.” I say “I have to stay with the kids.” Linda assumed that I was aware that she was taking off on a mission trip that Tuesday. I had no idea. We belong to a church in Durham, NC called Kings Park International Church. We take the ‘international” part very seriously. It isn’t unusual for someone to be in Ethiopia, Uganda, Guatemala and for my friend Linda it isn’t unusual for her to be in China, Japan or any of the Asian countries. Linda and her husband have seen earthquakes in China been in the middle of hurricanes/typhoons and are not novices to mission work But what I did not know due to our multi tasking ‘busy mom’ schedules is that Linda had planned to go to Haiti on Tuesday with two of our other church friends and a dentist from Raleigh. So, the prayer time that I missed was to bless the trip.

So, on Tuesday when I received a text from my husband midday saying “how is Linda?” I was perplexed. How is Linda? She is probably fine, I think. Why wouldn’t Linda be fine? I start to worry. Then I look in my email for prayer requests letting me know that my friend Linda and two of my other church ‘sisters’ are in Haiti on a mission trip and landed at the airport one hour prior to the 7.2 massive earthquake. They were traveling on missions for the Christianville Foundation. One of their travelers, Julia is a dentist. They had collected donations that were dental instruments, gauze, pain relievers, cold meds…band aids, antibiotic creams. It was known that they had arrived around 3:50 but Tuesday night we spent wondering where they were, having no communication. Were they still at the damaged airport? Were they okay? Were they on the road? Were they okay? My friend who did go to prayer time with Linda, Kellee, and Lisa said the prayer time was powerful and she felt like they would be protected. Linda’s husband’s facebook page said “I am full of faith.” I also felt ‘full of faith.’ But after not sleeping on Tuesday night, I started to wonder and worry a little today. Between the women they are parents to 10 children or more (I don’t know Julia). I started to be concerned that there was more damage to the airport that could have hurt someone. Or I worried about them being hurt by debris in a car-ride etc. So, when would we hear from them? Today I felt compelled to pray with my friend from 2-2:30. At 2:40 we received a phone call from Linda’s 12 year old son Matthew that Linda had made a call via SKYPE. They were alive!!! Praise God! Not only were they alive but they had found their way to a soccer field adjacent to a hospital where many wounded were. Linda’s son said “They are like doctors and nurses!” Matthew’s voice was so filled with pride. Linda, Kellee, Lisa and Julia had already delivered two babies. All of this brought tears to my eyes. I was mainly relieved but also in awe with God. He had scheduled the mothers to land in Haiti with medical supplies in their bags one hour before the worst earthquake to hit Haiti in 200 years. The Lord had sent 4 mothers from North Carolina to be first responders to this catastrophe. No longer were we worried, instead we were humbled at the extent of care God would go to in order to save His children. Why them? What did they have to offer? I am the type of mother who can put a band aid on my child or take out a sliver. I am capable of placing bacitracin on a scratch or make sure the tooth fairy remembers to visit. But I can’t imagine dressing a major trauma head wound or assisting in giving birth. What I have learned is that the team of 4 women is pretty awesome. Linda did study at UNC for awhile in premed. Julia is a dentist so must know how to stitch things up or give CPR and most likely has medical training. Kellee has been to Haiti several times and speaks creole. I don’t know Lisa very well but can imagine that God has appointed her as well due to her unique gifts. Mothers from North Carolina in a make shift hospital in the middle of Haiti saving lives….these women are truly Mothering the World. I am sure that Linda, Kellee, Lisa and Julia will be able to tell a much more amazing story after they return. But as information comes in talking about how the building at the airport collapsed minutes after they walked out of the door (thank you Jesus for bringing in the flight early)….for going before them and covering them in protection. Sometimes this world seems chaotic and without any kind of order ….GOD is still on the throne. The take away for me is that God continues to use people equipped with faith but by the world’s standards are lacking in official worldly capacity or titles. He cares and is aware of even the smallest of details and that even mothers from north Carolina can Mother the World and be she-ros using their ‘band-aid…boo-boo” skills to save lives…..

Dinner at Miremebe House with the African Children's Choir!

2010-01-09T18:00:00.000-08:00

Sometimes Matea thinks she is Ethiopian!

2010-01-09T06:32:00.000-08:00

Dr. Khurana and FEMALE INFANTICIDE in India

2010-01-04T19:58:00.000-08:00

This woman MITU totally has my attention. She is so brave and I just would like to scoop her up and bring her to America to live with me if I could. Imagine having your entire family try to kill the babies inside of you repeatedly and then once they are born throwing one of them down the steps at 4 months....Seriously, where are all of the women's groups on this one in America fighting against this type of travesty....Please join me in praying for MITU...

African Children's Choir/Silent Night!

2009-12-26T17:14:00.000-08:00

Update on the Falchooks!

2009-12-22T19:25:00.000-08:00

Ok! So I have sort of been MIA regarding true blogging in the past several months. I have opted VLOGGING rather than writing for at least half of this year. And although I admit that a written blog is more heartfelt most of the time than the video blogs, I have enjoyed learning about video production etc. Still, after posting and editing 13 videos last week (after my Christian Appalachian Project trip), I have to say this week I have been laying low with the video and blogging. Mostly it is because I have been getting ready for Christmas but also reflecting. I have spent this week in a very pensive mood.

I have recently started this intermittent fast that has inspired me to spend my days worshiping, reading the bible, worshiping, singing, praying. It has been really interesting and great. The fast is until 5 everyday and then I eat what I want (don't worry Mom if you are reading this..I am staying healthy). Some call it a diet. I just really think lowering my caloric intake has been great for me...Bottom line is that it is either the Christmas season or the fact that I am spending more time in intensive prayer or worship, but I am really feeling God in my life. Not only God but His power and favor. This isn't manifesting itself in terms of major money like winning the lottery or having a major career opportunity drop in my lap. It just is that I can feel and see my life being transformed and delivered into a new place for HIm. I still don't know exactly what it is but I believe that He will use our experiences from our old 'field' and bring them into a new area that will truly honor Him. So, I wait and watch and spend time with HIM..worshiping Him, and listening....

So, we continue to be able to express ourselves through music as well as writing. This past weekend I was able to lead worship at our church and really really enjoyed it. There were so many interesting little nuggets of confirmation that the Lord gave me leading up to the worship etc. And after wards someone came up to me and told me that they think God had wanted me to get a taste of what it was really like to use the skills he has refined in me to His glory. So, I was inspired to start planning some worship whether in my own home or with my friends who wanted me to provide music for a WORSHIP FOR LIFE event. So i am excited. ALSO, one of the girls I have been ministering to 'post abortion' (she was worshiping at our church this week) said to me that the Lord told her when she was looking at me on stage that "I will restore you like I have restored her." I think that was the sweetest thing to hear. This woman has been really having a very hard time...PRAISE GOD that He encourages.

MOVING ON TO FAMILY:

I am also seriously in love and in awe of all of my kids...maybe it is the fast or just the benefit of time in getting to really know them, but I really do love them more everyday.

Last night, the kids spontaneously pulled out their bibles and have announced that we will study together. Grace who is still learning to really read sat quietly reading Genesis and then continued to explain the story of ADAM AND EVE to me after reading an NIV bible. She then starts talking about how Adam and Eve 'hid' from God. Matea then looks at me and says "it's okay for God to see us naked isn't it?" So, we spend time reading books 3-6 in genesis. The kids wake up in the morning and are reading again..so cute and cool.

Samantha is home and had a great first semester in college. She is on the Dean's list. We are so proud. She is planning on doing an internship in NYC for the summer at a PR firm. So, we are looking for a place for her to stay while there for a few weeks this summer.

Andrew is studying Hebrew and will have a barmitzvah next year at a Messianic temple. We are Christian but because of his lineage and Mark's background, Andrew will follow the family tradition and study Hebrew. Our Pastor actually was the one to find a Christian rabbi to guide Andrew. Andrew is also still a huge baseball fan. He watches baseball 24/7 and has a ball in his hand wayyy too much. He is also the one in the family determined to start up a daily bible study.

When I think of Grace I literally find myself getting all teared up. She is so courageous and quiet. When her two siblings were brought to the orphanage the grandmother was NOT going to bring Grace. THe neighbor convinced her to not separate them. So, I watch Grace who although is not the oldest in our family, is very much the older sister. She is very protective of her siblings and is such a little mother and helper to me. She is precious and to see her bond to Mark as well and now reading and longing to learn more about God and ask questions about Heaven etc..is so sweet.

Ella is so sweet too. I will never forgot how she wanted to jump out the window when she first came here. She had such a dark cloud around her. Now i can't get her to stop laughing. She always wants hugs from me and is so good with Matea. She wants me to cradle her in my arms every night and insists on my hugging her 8 times every day. She also is still making me tea every day. She is so beautiful and precious.

Jared struggles sometimes with anger and will stomp his feet or throw his hands in the air and say "I quit' because I tell him to pick up his pants or something basic (my theory is that he has some Italian blood as the Italians at one point tried to conquer ethiopia...because sometimes he is very italianish). I am learning that if he doesn't get a nap or eat enough he is a monster so we work around that. Put him to sleep and he wakes up a new happy boy. We have been discussing self control couched like this..."Jared listen to the good super hero in your head not the one that tells you to slam the door" etc....He is also very protective with the women in his life (also very italianish-I like that made up word). Holds the door open for me and just wants responsibility. He wants us to give him jobs to do and he is thrilled.

Matea is uber smart and so cute. She always has the best one liners and the best laugh. She also is not shy at all. I think of how she truly was born of my heart. I just longed for her before she was born and even turned away the first referral we had because I KNEW I would be able to identify her once I met her. The second referral was MATEA and I knew it before I even laid eyes on her picture. She has just been such a joy...

Mark and I have been married for 22 years. This year was very slow for business. Without any prompting on my part he venuted outside of him comfort zone. He had spent his entire professional year as a musician but now in order to bring in more money for the family grabbed a salesman job at Nordstroms to help us to get by. He works very hard and loves our family very much. I feel blessed to be his wife but also blessed to be able to create music with him. We have worked together very well for years.

My year was amazing with a number one best selling book on Amazon and then an opportunity and new passion to interview mothers and bring to light the awesomeness of motherhood. But mainly , I guess i am truly happy to have really learned what it means to really live to honor God by taking care of His children. As much as I worry and complain about the decrease in work up in NYC, i have also had a year that has given me an opportunity to spend quality time with my children and husband. Mostly, I am ready now for a new decade and continue to approach life as an adventure. I cannot wait until each new day...I just long to hear from the Lord and watch as He creates a new way to use our talents for His glory.

Blessings, D

Merry Knishmas from our Family! VIDEO!

2009-12-19T06:00:00.000-08:00

Apparently there is a cartoon on the cartoon network called CHOWDER. After making this video my kids have informed me that Jared was referring to the episode called Merry Knishmas

Merry Christmas ELF CARD of Falchook Family!

2009-12-16T10:00:00.000-08:00

THESE SErIOUSLY CrACK ME UP...SINCE WE ARE NOT SENDING CHRISTMAS CARDS..these quirky ones will have to do...

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

TO BE A MOTHER-MOTHER THE WORLD in APPALACHIA

2009-12-14T16:53:00.000-08:00

One of the many videos from MOTHER THE WORLD...BTW..this song and CD are available for sale either at MOTHER THE WORLD or TO BE A MOTHER and book can be purchased still at AMAZON...great gift for the women in your life.

Five Kids, Ten Dollars, Dad at the Dollar store

2009-12-13T18:40:00.000-08:00

Uncle Tim sent us 10 dollars wanting to see Mark at the Dollar Store with the kids...this is the result....

Runaway Rabbit Owners discuss Motherhood

2009-12-12T12:25:00.000-08:00

Check out the full post at MOTHER THE WORLD or go to their site at RUNAWAY RABBIT

Mary Lou Kirby 2007 Mother of the Year(KY) and Motherhood

2009-12-12T12:22:00.000-08:00

Really enjoyed this interview on our trip prior to going to the Christian Appalachian Project..Mary Lou speaks so well on the topic of motherhood....

Marriage, Motherhood and a Pedicure

2009-12-12T12:20:00.000-08:00

We had fun in between 3 interviews and a visit to the pregnancy clinic in Bowling green KY...there are several videos that I am uploading to our MOTHER THE WORLD blog that will take you on our Appalachian tour...in KY.

Mother the World (Intro to tour in December)

2009-12-10T06:30:00.000-08:00

For more updates and info on Christian Appalachian Project go to MOTHER THE WORLD

Green Acres Christmas Tree Farm in CARY, NC

2009-11-30T11:20:00.000-08:00

Go to GREEN ACRES if you are in NC to get your trees. They donate proceeds to the African Children's choir...

Santa's Uncle and Christmas Carols as a Second Language

2009-11-30T11:18:00.000-08:00

Birthday with a Burning Oven Mit...

2009-11-30T07:53:00.000-08:00

Finding Joy In the Midst of "Flippin out"-Early Christmas Tree Set UP

2009-11-14T19:03:00.000-08:00

Have you ever been in the middle of a total funk, or grief, or despair and all of the sudden you get a wave of joy? I have been stressed lately. Our business is way down due to the economy as well as the fact that I am embarking on a new ministry. The Lord is clearly moving us into a new ‘field’ with ministry through my TO BE A MOTHER book as well as our advocacy with MOTHER THE WORLD (an org I am launching to raise awareness to the awesomeness of mothers). Although, I know I am following God’s call, it is scary to watch and look back at a business you built and see it sort of fade behind you in the horizon as you look ahead unsure of what your eyes are looking at in your future. So, I have been consumed with fear, not knowing if we have to sell our house, not knowing if we have enough to pay the bills, groceries, Christmas presents and the list goes on. One reassurance though is that I know we are not alone. There are many people in the same position due to the economy etc. Still, there have not been very many times in my adult life that I remember having to ‘practice and refine’ my faith muscle as much. I don’t recall feeling so unsure and afraid of things before.

I started to go to the gym this week determined that if my body moves a little more I may find the HAPPY endorphins….I go to the YMCA. I picked up the OUR DAILY BREAD devotions that they have there. Funny how I made the observation today how much joy I feel in the midst of my simultaneous ‘flipping out.’ And then I opened the devotional to today:

Ezra 3:10-13 (New International Version)
10 When the builders laid the foundation of the temple of the LORD, the priests in their vestments and with trumpets, and the Levites (the sons of Asaph) with cymbals, took their places to praise the LORD, as prescribed by David king of Israel. 11 With praise and thanksgiving they sang to the LORD :
"He is good;
his love to Israel endures forever."
And all the people gave a great shout of praise to the LORD, because the foundation of the house of the LORD was laid. 12 But many of the older priests and Levites and family heads, who had seen the former temple, wept aloud when they saw the foundation of this temple being laid, while many others shouted for joy. 13 No one could distinguish the sound of the shouts of joy from the sound of weeping, because the people made so much noise. And the sound was heard far away.

I know that the Lord is laying a new foundation for us. I know it is one I have longed for. But in my flesh I can’t help but look back and mourn and grieve the security I had for so long in the old temple. I can’t help but be human in realizing I am moving out of a place of expertise into a place of being the apprentice minister. So, I have simultaneous joy and grief….

Today I put the Christmas trees up. I said on my facebook status that I needed a little more time to celebrate Christmas (thus the early set up). I felt honest outbursts of joy in my heart as I looked at my children who already only into their second Christmas with us have clung onto tradition. They placed decorations in spots that they remembered them in from last year. Ella cried as she found the African American angel that I purchased last year to put on the top of the tree. She said “mom can I sleep with her?” Joy in my heart as I look at our beautiful home filled with so much love. I don’t regret spending my WORK money on international adoption rather than the Mercedes Benz and Lexus’ that my competitors in NYC drive. I am so full and happy knowing that even as the bank account is dwindling, I can honestly say that I believe our investments have gone into something and somewhere that I know was a CALL and EDICT from God to do in our adoptions and in growing our family. I know that the lifestyle choices we made in moving to a family friendly/community was an action that contributed to our spiritual growth. So, I have so much joy in my heart right now. And I am learning to truly LIVE with faith as my bread and sustenance is in Jesus. I spend my time making birthday parties and making home made chicken soup a lot more than I used to. But when I was constantly traveling and “gigging’ there was also a frustration and loneliness in my heart desiring to be in my home with my family ….mothering them like I am now.

Luke 8:21 (New International Version)
21He replied, "My mother and brothers are those who hear God's word and put it into practice."

Jesus claims us as part of His family (as mothers and brothers) when we hear God’s word and put it into practice. Pure Religion (james 1:27) makes it clear to us that if we want to PRACTICE Pure religion we will take care of orphans and widows. So, here I am now finally where I have always wanted to be in ministry. But terrified as an apprentice in practicing being a mother and putting God’s word into action. It is not easy. The next part of James 1:27 tells us to not be polluted by the world. There is a part of me that wants to resurrect the busy flourishing worldly vocation I had…mainly for security purposes. But the consumption of the world that surrounds me at times in that job is difficult at times to escape. Money is dripping everywhere, wine is flowing, everyone is artificially beautiful, the hype is palpable….and being around it can boost anyone’s ego…still the look in Ella’s eyes as she says “that angel looks just like my mommy did…thanks mom for giving me an angel from Ethiopia.”

Is so much more joyous than any million dollar wedding that I ever played over there on that other field. A new life for a previously orphaned girl where she is happy placing ornaments on trees and wondering if I am going to make a chocolate dessert for her again this year…the joy just overpowers my despair at times….SO, I hold onto believing that as a family ‘adopted’ into the kingdom…that no matter where we are here on earth…the Kings of Kings will always find a way to provide for His family. So, we cry out to ABBA FATHER and Praise Him for the new foundation He is building for us with Praise and Thanksgiving..”HE IS GOOD. HIS LOVE ENDURES FOREVER.”

Spaghetti Girl and Family-Video-Halloweeen 2009

2009-11-12T12:17:00.001-08:00

Mother the World in Appalacia/UPCOMING TOUR

2009-11-03T19:55:00.000-08:00

We are going to be launching our follow up tour and official debut of MOTHER THE WORLD in December and we will be going to APPALACHIA in the Eastern part of Kentucky. I am hoping that we can meet the woman whose organization put this video together (Appalachian Ministries). Our plan is to visit and document mothers in the mountains, talk to the woman who runs the ministry and hand out gift packages to mothers. AND of course spread the gospel of Jesus Christ.

I would also like us do some beauty work on the mothers and teens (haircuts and manicures or pedicures) and bring princess and super hero costumes for the kids. We will ask for donations.

Spaghetti Girl, Trash Girl, Tina ZOMBIE Turner, Quarterback and Power Ranger

2009-10-31T20:43:00.000-07:00

Here she is SPAGHETTI GIRL. I was terrified when Matea wanted to be SPAGHEtti..I am the least crafty person ever but put this together for $5. My Yankee baseball fan is QUARTERBACK and his friend is NICKELBACK. My Zombie is so beautiful and didn't realize that if she put the wig on her that I got from RICKY'S in NYC that she would look more like TINA TURNER...Everyone asked her if she was Tina. She has no idea who Tina Turner even is. But I think it was because she washed off her makeup. Spaghetti girl got tired and made power ranger walk up to the doors for her on a few houses.....He was really an excellent big brother and she was not loving his chivalry which I found charming...Trash girl wanted to put on white face and I told her it was a bad idea...She didn't know I feared people thinking she was shooting to be 'white trash'...Since the kids really have little experience to racial comments etc..I just let her fashion her garbage bag to look fabulous and then she did her hair and makeup....We were home by 8pm...But we had a blast (eventhough I hate Halloween as a rule)..This one was wonderful........

I Hate Halloween! Dressing up as a PRAYER WARRIOR!

2009-10-28T13:14:00.000-07:00

Posting this AGAIN..just in case you don't know how I feel about Halloween..I am going as a prayer warrior...

Adoption Weight!

2009-10-28T13:05:00.000-07:00

Yeah that is not a typo. I mean 'adoption WEIGHT" not "wait". Yes we usually talk about how long it takes to adopt etc. And we complain about our 'waits"...BUT I want to talk about a topic that is rarely discussed. It also isn't a proven phenomenon ...BUT in my life IT IS TRUE. When you adopt children you gain WEIGHT. I know many women will say "it was so great to adopt because I didn't have to put on pregnancy weight etc." But when I adopted my baby Matea in 2005 I gained weight and lost it. NOW and only now am I starting to LOSE the weight I put on by adopting my Ethiopian triplets (ages 11, 8, and 7).

I don't know why. Some will say it is just my age and after 40 you gain. NO NO NO! I gained about 15 or 20 pounds and went from a size 4 to a size 8 (sometimes GASP almost in a 10 jeans)...I brought them home and would cook every night. Then I would make cake every night. And one night decided NOT to make cake the kids came to the kitchen around 8 at night and said "What no cake?" Seriously, I over cooked thinking they would starve and have those bloated bellies in the middle of one of the most prosperous parts of NC if I didn't feed them. Yes..they have grown. BUT MAMA HAS GROWN TOO....SOOO, for all of you new adoptive moms out there..PLEASE BEWARE of the ADOPTION WEIGHT..It really exists. And could take 18 months to a 2 years to lose..watch what you eat and try to exercise. Because you never know when another adoption could be just around the corner...

TO BE A MOTHER-CD now Available

2009-10-27T08:49:00.001-07:00

Our TO BE A MOTHER - CD is available now click here TO BE A MOTHER

Abortion Confession Saves a Life! Nana Pam and Keshaun!!!

2009-10-15T18:30:00.000-07:00

So, last year I finished my book and then realized that after 27 years of keeping my abortion secret I had to finally confess to my parents, kids, friends....

It was hard but something I knew the Lord wanted. One of the people I called was my friend Pam. I had contacted a few people from my old church to ask for help for the upcoming 40days for life campaign. I hadn't seen Pam in several months. But contacted her via email first. In those few exchanges Pam confessed her abortion too...and later told me about her 3 abortions. A few weeks after that we had a dinner at my house to discuss 40 days. I had spent a year studying abortion etc. but Pam had not really explored the effects of her own abortion etc. Still as we completed dinner we all talked about the upcoming event and then one of us said something that visibly struck Pam to the point where she was totally shaken. We didn't want to hit a trigger and had assumed that she had worked through her abortion experiences. But when one of us talked about the late term abortions Pam pretty much lost it....we all prayed over her.

I spoke to her that week about taking things slowly. She said "no, I am IN..I am called to fight for this cause etc." So, we would get together and talk about the bible etc and women's issues. One day Pam was working in her position as manager at a local fast food restaurant....one of her co workers was talking about her daughter and the pending abortion that was sched. Pam felt compelled to talk to the mother and daughter and give her own testimony. THis was still new to Pam but she confessed and made an impression on this family. She convinced the pregnant mother to postpone the abortion appointment and go to see an ultrasound at the pregnancy clinic. Pam drove her there. Pam talked to her about Jesus..Pam helped the young mother to choose life by offering to support this woman in any way she could.. Pam had gathered gift cards from church and would take this mother shopping for essentials. She would also take her to the doctors appointments. Pam helped talk the woman into going off drugs too.

Well, this September a beautiful baby boy (and I mean beautiful) named Keshaun was born. I am doing a video series on Pam. Pam has seen it all. Nothing shocks Pam. But her past has also made her qualified to speak to women who have been addicted, women who have had a hard time mothering and women who have aborted. For me, I am humbled. Not only about Pam but about how my confession led to Pam's confession which led to life. If someone had told me even 26 years ago that my abortion confession could save a life I believe I would have had more courage even back then to try to tell my story to inspire women to choose life for their babies....God is so good and I am watching as this young mother has Pam to help her still ...and Pam calls herself NANA to Keshaun. I am witnessing an entire community raise up a baby and give a young mother hope. I pray and wish this MODEL would be replicated throughout the US...just look at this baby....just look at Pam who was broken when parenting her own children post abortion as she loves unconditionally this baby...AWESOME GOD!!!

Brides of Christ Mother the World!

2009-10-13T14:43:00.000-07:00

So, it has been a really long time since I posted any actually text. I have been a bit preoccupied with my new love ...the FLIP HD ULTRA video camera. My husband says he is a video widower...It has been one of the best gifts I have ever received (not counting my husband,kids and laptop-which I wrote a book on). I had received a gift for our ministry MOTHER THE WORLD (officially not yet launched 12/1/09). And prior to heading to the midwest to promote TO BE A MOTHER a dear friend gifted me with a check for the cam the day after I was in prayer and heard from the Lord to document and interview mothers. So, it has been a blessing but requires some editing time.

In the meantime, all is well here in the land of my beautiful Injera Guacamole Hotdog family. However, we are struggling through (so far) a light version of the flu. My son first had it and because there was only a light fever I misdiagnosed it as the IDONTwANNAGOTOSCHOOL strain...and sent him to school for two days ...NOW I FEEL AWFUL...but he is fine..The youngest two are home today with fevers..and coughs..and by 9:30 once the Motrin kicked in my 7 year old came down looking like a professional Ethiopian soccer player with a ball uder his arms...knee socks, shorts and a soccer jersey saying "HEY I AM GOING TO PLAY SOCCER OUTSIDE"...i quickly said UH NO YOU ARE NOT....My daughter Ella's glass has 10 kids out of the class....and she is coughing with no fever as is Grace...they have really really hearty bodies....Oldest was home from college and insisted no one breathe on her....the corner PEDS office is claiming 30 cases of swine flu a day. Still, we are hunkering down...I have a batch of homemade chicken soup on the stove along with ginger tea (which I SWEAR is why these cases in our household aren't worse) and italian ices that we bought as twofers....

Still, there is a lot of unknowns in our lives. OUr business is slow with our band so we are struggling financially and may be putting our new big house on the market....(sorry to put all of you followers through the house selling thing again)...but the Ministry is bearing much fruit...I cannot even begin to count on my hand how many incredible mother stories, adoption stories, stories of choosing life, stories of stepping into motherhood...incredible SHE-RO stories....and so much revelation...I went on my tour thinking I would impart so much to the people I would meet or speak to on adoption. I am in awe at the lessons I have already learned...

1. People need to be 'mothered" even when they are octogenarians...How many people in nursing homes etc long for someone to come to tell them they matter enough to them to spend some time making sure they are happy and cared for or given a hug.

2. Most mothers feel inadequate and God uses them anyhow...WHEW what a relief to discover this one. I had thought I was the only messed up clumsy mom out there and that maybe GOd somehow made a mistake...but looking at the clumsy characters in the bible that He used as well...now I say..."OH IT IS BIBLICAL FOR GOD TO USE PEOPLE THAT FEEL INADEQUATE and even ARE..."

3. Due to a lack of mothering we have many older teens and young adults who are confused and unsure of how to parent leaving them to carry on some of the abuse they encountered as kids with their own kids...we need more people like my friends Elaine and Cody Bateman to teach and mentor....

4. Our culture while financially blessed has a lot to learn about parenting from places like Africa where the mothers in the communities truly believe that IT TAKES A VILLAGE...in America many mothers feel isolated turning to books and HOW TO manuals rather than having mothering be natural simply by being around other mothers.

5. Children with HIV in Africa will stay healthy waiting to be taking to America where they will live a long life..if they know they have a new family waiting for them. CHildren with no hope will die...

6. Older boys and girls in Ethiopia still long for a mother but many times are thrown on the street to deal with all kinds of awful things if a mother doesn't claim them like Eileen Mestas my friend.

7. 30000 people starve everyday to death. Haiti has a huge starvation problem...food is spoiling.

8. 2.8 billion professed Christians in the world...if 7% of that number would adopt only 1 child we would solve the orphan crisis and all of the 143 million orphans would have a mother. BUt in Ethiopia for example only 1 one hundredth of 1 percent of the orphans are adopted annually..

OK...so the new campaign...website/network I am creating is called MOTHER THE WORLD...what that means is that MOTHER IS A VERB..to nurture, care for , save, love, feed..basically pick up on Jesus' message to take care of the orphans, widows and least of these.... my inspiration is that if we are BRIDES OF CHRIST (the church or even individuals in this case women-but does apply to men too)..then we are to MOTHER THE WORLD..find the children...adopt the children...care for the children...save the children...and CHILDREN doesn't only mean 18 and under...it means children of GOd..and that could be a 97 year old woman in INdia or indiana....

One random act of kindness this Christmas can save a life, change a mind and motivate a person to pay it forward....MOTHER THE WORLD..honor GOD and DO SOMETHING....

TO BE A MOTHER boo is still available at AMAZON

Jasmine is Adopted as a TEEN-Talks about MOTHERHOOD

2009-10-11T12:48:00.001-07:00

Mother Mary (VIDEO and SONG By Deanna Jones)

2009-10-06T20:54:00.001-07:00

Mark and his STANKY CHORDS in Church

2009-10-06T20:05:00.001-07:00

VIDEO: Stay at Home Moms in NYC are as Hard to Find as African Gorillas hiding in the Jungle

2009-10-06T07:12:00.001-07:00

First Time Visit with Kids to LAUNDROMAT-Video

2009-10-04T12:45:00.001-07:00

TO BE A MOTHER-Tour Video

2009-10-04T12:41:00.001-07:00

Video: Mother of 20 discusses God's provision

2009-10-01T10:58:00.001-07:00

Video: Mommy Hates Halloween Loves Christmas and Disney!

2009-10-01T07:18:00.001-07:00

FLIP CAM ULTRA HD-Deanna and Matea

2009-09-30T19:37:00.001-07:00