ADOPTION PODCAST on UGANDA AND HAITI on 4/12 at 8pm

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Please join us on TUESDAY 4/12 at 8pm EST for a live podcast on adoption in Uganda and Haiti:

Mother the HIV+ Child-Traci Heim "Bring on the Hope"

This video is of my friend Traci. I had the pleasure of taping her during a recent Chicago meeting we had with Project Hopeful. She is the mother of 6 children (all adopted). Her youngest is Dasha from Ukraine. Dasha is HIV+. Traci is fast becoming one of my best friends. She is extremely bright, funny and easygoing. I love this woman. THere were two points that really drove home to me when listening to her.

One was when she mentions that being a mother is less about fulfilling our needs but loving because these children need us. It seems like a given, but truly if we consider how and why we love, it is often because we are trying to fulfill a need within ourselves. That need could be security,confidence, control or our own personal NEED to be a mother. If we really think about it LOVE is something that we should express toward out children in spite of getting nothing...even the possibility of a lack of love back from love. We love because they need us to love them and when we do it is a gift God has given us...Traci says about her kids "they don't have to love me. If they do it is a gift. But I love them..." Important point to remember when considering adoption. Do we adopt because we expect love back. Do we adopt because we expect appreciation from the child? Or do we love in spite of getting nothing back?

The other thing that I loved about what Traci said is regarding HOPE. And this could be applied to TRUTH, JOY, PEACE or anything feeling or promise that others need to survive. We oftentimes think of 'hope' as something elusive or out there somewhere in an intangible spot. The fact is that we are called to 'bring' hope to people by being the hands and feet of Jesus and 'bringing the hope' to them. When we advocate for them we are 'bringing the hope.' When we sit around thinking the hope will come from some other resource than ourselves than we are deciding not to participate in the Great Commission to bring Truth to others. .....We are blessed to be able to serve. We can choose to let someone else bring the hope...or have a person die without hope..or we can 'bring the hope'...to someone in need. Traci and her husband Scott have brought the hope to six children...one with HIV who could have died without her intervention. So we bring on the HOPE whenever we can everytime we say "Yes Lord..I am going..to be obedient and serve your children.." Traci's personal blog is LET IT BE TO ME...

Kids Visit Make Up Store

# Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. (His Dream Our Reality)-Video Tribute by Blended Family

PTA Insanity: Hawaiian Day on Winter Advisory Day

House cleaning (attempt): No More Wire Hangers

Jared Puts His Foot in Ella's Coat Sleeve

Ella's Letter to Santa

"I'm Gonna Marry You" 3-Year-Old Keren Claims Her Husband

Nutcracker Video: Matea's Interpretation

Amazing Adoption VIDEO: Depraved Indifference

This is what I strive for..To totally adopt God's heart and live fearless faith....

God plays Santa and is Relentless for Orphans

My family has been committing to praying for the orphan in a very personal way. So we post pictures of these sweet children on our refrigerator or in a frame and pray for them. Often we have celebrated when we find out these children find homes. One of these children is a beautiful boy that my family loves even though we haven't met him. We have been praying for him for several months now. He is 4 years old, HIV positive and living in Eastern Europe. I have a friend who is a strong advocate for many orphans in this country and has connections in over 20 of these orphanages....Through an amazing act of God we had come to find out what

orphanage our virtually internet adopted son is living in.

This was an orphanage she had not visited yet but because of her advocacy we were able to find out orphanage needs etc of his current home....We just had this conversation recently and in this conversation she mentioned how her organization had already sent or were about to send most of their Christmas packages to the orphanages and this orphanage did not have anyone sending gifts....So of course I volunteered to send boxes to these orphans but also told her that we would not be able to get them there by Christmas...(they celebrate in January)....

A few weeks ago, I posted a note on my Facebook about needing toys for 40 boys and 40 girls ages (2-6) and then additional items (pacifiers, baby wipes for 150 infants).No one responded or volunteered to help...But in all honesty I dropped the ball not pursuing it further and then started to get concerned because I had promised....so even though finances are very tight i figured I would somehow be able to spend the money etc to get it done..or I was just going to tell my friend we couldn't get our act together....In all honesty, I had no idea what Iwas going to do because I haven't even shopped for my own kids..don't have discretionary income...and had to cancel two fundraisers due to lack of response or contributions. Things are tight very very tight now not only for myself but for many so I totally understand people needing to prioritize and spend for their holidays etc..But still..I said "yes' I will help...and no matter what my family 'needs' for the Holidays...they pale in comparison to the 300 children at this orphanage...My intense passion for these particular children is spilling over into most of my extra time...I can't stop feeling anxious about the HIV children especially at this orphanage and the fact that when it snows in winter..there are windows that are broken so it snows inside (winter is coming fast in Eastern Europe)....I had decided I was going to find a way to help via MOTHER THE WORLD NFP by offering to videotape the orphanage/raise awareness etc...Somehow I am determined to visit there but not sure how or when...

Being the mother of 4 adopted children I have noticed that God does allow the orphan to get to the front of the line of His priorities...It sometimes seems like every other seemingly important thing in the world can take a backseat when His orphaned children are clamoring to sit in the Father's lap....If God were Santa...there would be a VIP line at the mall for these children. The sea parts for them...but sometimes requires someone to lead them to the opening...We oftentimes are called to help to deliver the goodness of God to them...and it is serious business...

So, this morning I experienced an intense Jesus encounter. I woke up with my heart broken for these children...and I prayed and prayed for God to move mountains for these children...while not thinking much about the ball I had dropped regarding Christmas or at least February gifts for this orphanage...I prayed for families and that God would not forget them...I then went out to open the garage door because i had an errand to run and found this blocking the entrance to my garage...(I could have backed into something)....

On the way to see what was outside of my garage (in the way of my leaving), I received a call from a mother of my daughter's friend saying "Hi this is Linda, I just decided to drop by some extra items our store had and i thought you would be able to figure out what to do with them!" This woman had not seen my email requesting help for this orphanage...I had not called her to ask for anything and she is not on facebook and doesn't know hardly any of my friends...as I walked up to the boxes and looked inside I saw that there were 5 boxes filled with age appropriate items for all of the children in this orphanage for the holidays...dropped at my house in NC to be delivered from God to these children in Eastern Europe that I had forgotten but He hadn't...

There were about 200 little cars, dolls, action figures, yo yo's, books, mittens, stuffed toys, crayons, playdough, jumpropes...on and on..brand new...

I walked into the door of my house deciding the errands will have to wait....I fell to my knees and cried like I was a little child myself....I couldn't get over the relentlessness and extravagance of God. My Ethiopian daughter Ella asked me the other day if Santa and God are the same....my older Ethiopian daughter very wisely looked at her sister and said "God is like MANAGER to Santa!" In this case this is very true...sometimes Santa may forget but God doesn't...I am humbled at how God can deliver stocking stuffers to a busy mom in NC (right behind her minivan in case she would miss it)..so that she will NOT FORGET what GOD'S priorities are....and it is very clearly the orphan....I pray this season we remember how insignificant our needs and desires are to the needs of the least of these who have made it to the top of the list of the MANAGER AND SUPERVISOR of Santa....

If you would like to donate to MOTHER THE WORLD to help with shipping or help me to get there to video tape the orphanages and Mothers and help these children find homes please consider donating to my non-for profit...Mother the World..

MOTHER HIV PLUS

Please consider browsing these amazing adoption testimonies at our MOTHER HIV PLUS site...

MOTHER THE WORLD: FAMILIES NEEDED for Adoption of Sibling Groups

Reminder that I am posting more frequently at our new site MOTHER THE WORLD

I encourage you all to follow that blog...

We have two new inquiries looking for families for two situations abroad:

Three toddler siblings in an Asian country (the youngest -age 2- is HIV positive)...looking for a family to take all three...Please contact PROJECT HOPEFUL.

AND

2 Sibling groups of 4 in Poland ranging in age from 2-9 (see below for contact)
A woman (Anna Maria), who adopted 3 Polish children 10 years ago (just recently returned to the orphanage in Poland for a visit), has been asked by the sisters (Servants of the Blessed Virgin Mary in Czestochowa ), to help get the word out that there are two different sibling groups of four children each (ages ranging from 2-9), that they are trying to find homes for. These nuns who run the orphanage do not want to see the children split from their siblings.

If you all know anyone who might be in a position to adopt a sibling group from Poland, please pass on this information! Anna Maria's number is 703-203-2901. She is here in the U.S. and does speak Polish. If anyone is seriously interested, Anna Maria said she would be glad to talk to them.

The Directoress' name is Sr. Alina Syliwoniuk. Her phone number is (011) +48(0)34-324- 67-51. Dom Malych Dzieci Home of small children (Orphanage) im. E.Bojanowskiego E. Bojanowski ul. sw. Kazimierza 1 St. Casimir Str 42-200 Czestochowa

Auntie Denise shares her recipe for Left over Mashed Potatoes-Cavatelli

Try this recipe for left-over Mashed potatoes....yummy cavatelli

THANKSGIVING: Gratitude and the ADOPTED CHILD

PLEASE DON"T FORGET TO FOLLOW US HERE AT MOTHER THE WORLD Eventually all of our posts will be found there as we transfer all over to MOTHER THE WORLD...

I grew up as the youngest of 4 girls, with one bathroom (without a shower) in a tiny bungalow in Illinois. My mother was a single mother from the time I was 8 years old. I dried my hair by sitting in front of the furnace. My mom worked 4 jobs to pay the bills and there were times when I ate mayo and peanut butter sandwiches for lunch.

This morning our bedroom door bust open at 7:15 am. Our adopted children woke us up to inform us that they wanted to change rooms and that their plan was for us to change our plans to accommodate their idea of FUN on the day before Thanksgiving in moving furniture, dresssers etc. My agenda had included getting the turkey defrosted and preparing for Thanksgiving. As I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes, somewhat annoyed because I wanted to sleep in until at least 8am, I informed them that there would be no room changes now or in the near future. My 9 year old Ethiopian daughter Ella wasn’t taking ‘no’ for an answer and in her usual spirited fashion kept pushing for HER WILL TO BE DONE….. . Eventually, this led to her proclaiming how she never gets what she wants and that all of the other kids she knows basically are parented by people who always say “YES” to every whim of their children. I then sent her to her room because I have come to the realization that I have no patience for any individual who feels entitled or is ungrateful.

When you go through the adoption process you have to take these DVD parenting classes required by the HAGUE. Most of them are extremely helpful. We still use 90% of the techniques that are recommended. But I have to say that I disagree with the advice to never let your children think that somehow you have done them a favor by adopting them and increasing their life span by 50 years through adoption. Okay…let me explain. Many child psychologists recommend not pointing out to your adopted kids how fortunate they are to have what they now have. I take exception to this because I don’t care if a person is from Park Avenue, Beverly Hills or the streets of Guatemala City or Addis Ababa…I HATE WHEN PEOPLE ARE UNGRATEFUL FOR THE BLESSINGS GOD HAS GIVEN THEM….

Oprah had this segment that she promoted often which included a ‘gratitude journal”. Oprah I know is not perfect…but I do think expressing gratitude for all that we have is an awesome thing to do. If we expect this from your average American why do we decide it is best not to remind our orphaned children of the same? I want all of my children to be grateful to God for our lives. I realized as I pondered what Ella may be thinking while I had her ‘reflect’ in her room., that the reason Ella is constantly dis-satistied, is that she still is mentally coming from a place of lack and a place of being robbed. She lost her mother, she lost her culture in some ways…she lost life as she knew it. I don’t want to diminish her pain in anyway. But I also don’t want her to grow up to be an adult with a chip on her shoulder thinking the world still owes her something. She is not living in lack and seems to have her eyes closed to the treasure that abound all around her. It is my job as her mother to open her eyes and direct them away from the lies of lack and the truth of the treasures. She has been blessed. She has the word CHOSEN all over her in spite of her past. She has an opportunity to give a testimony of how God redeemed her life. But if she lives her life waiting for THINGS to fill that empty space and if I allow her to grow up with that chip present than I personally don’t think I would be helping to nurture a healthy adult. If we keep ignoring the awesome blessings God has placed on their lives by bringing us all together then we are being ungrateful to God Himself. There are still many children in Africa, in Guatemela, Ukraine, China that don’t have 3,4, or 5 bedrooms to choose from.

It had been announced to me that Ella wanted to run away after being denied ‘a different room.” I told Ella to make sure not to take any of the clothes we had given her, or shoes, or food or bike. I know!.I know! Not really the DVD parenting advice you get on the adoption DVD’s. I went up to see Ella and she had been writing a scathing letter of how much she hates us for not doing what she wanted when she wanted it….I sat down calmly and asked Ella these questions. How big was your house in Ethiopia? She said she didn’t remember. I told her that I remembered because we had visited her great grandfather’s house where she lived after her mother had passed. I told her it was the same size as her current room. I said “Did it have a bathroom attached and was it air conditioned?” I know! I know…awful parenting. Then I told her the horrific stories of how when I was little we had to put air conditioners in the windows…”OH NO!” She gasped!!! And how we didn’t have computers or even a cell phone or a dishwasher…OH NOOOOOO….to her I had been an abused and neglected child…Then a light bulb went off in my mind….I thought I would discuss why we had THANKSGIVING and how people who came to America had no food then PILGRIMS AND INDIANS shared their food (sort of like we do with eachother and friends)…I then told her how sad and sorry I am for her for the death of her parents and how it makes me sad too…but then I told her…”isn’t it amazing that God loves you sooo much that he brought you a new family? Isn’t it incredible that you can even choose between bedrooms? Isn’t it awesome how you have so many friends and that you can live a long life and that one day you too can adopt a baby from Ethiopia because you will grow to be a healthy strong Ethiopian/American woman? Not all Ethiopian girls can grow up to be Ethiopian women or mothers or grandmothers (their life expectancy pales by many years to hers)…. I told her that she has an excellent chance of all of the amazing milestones that were stolen from her mother….

Why shouldn’t the orphan be grateful? We all should be grateful…Why shouldn’t the orphan be reminded to praise God for where they are and what they have? We all should Praise God for where we are and what we have….Why shouldn’t the orphan be reminded to speak with respect to the people who took a leap of faith to commit their lives, hearts and finances to love them? We all should respect our parents when they put their lives on the line for us…I don’t want Ella to feel condemned or that she should be constantly shouting THANK YOU to us…but I certainly don’t think it is healthy for the memories and realization of blessings to be stripped from them because of some advice from a psychological study that may or may not work with my real life child in my bedroom at 7:15am..


Ella is upstairs making pumpkin pies with her Aunt Denise right now. Her room is clean, She played with her 2 Chinese girlfriends today. Tomorrow she is in charge of collecting a list from each child of what they are Thankful for ….I am so grateful for the parenting DVD’s we were required to watch in order to be qualified as parents…but sometimes there is something to be said for parental instinct and a divine HOLY SPIRIT intelligence that sometimes dominates in our parenting….

I am grateful for my beautiful children but feel free to join me in reprimanding them if they pull any entitlement crap in front of you…it is THANKSGIVING and we will be giving thanks in spite of what they WANT!!!!

Christmas 2010

Matea out Stares Herself

Sephora with Ella, Grace and Matea

Orphan Sunday: Is the Bride of Christ Dancing? Mother the World