Caesarean Section!

So, Ellas adorable 7 year old friend comes over. Her name is Meggie. She says "when I was born I was so big my mom had to have a Csection." I said "Yeah Andrew was 9lbs 7oz and I had to have a csection too." She looks at me totally serious and says..."Did you have a csection with Ella too?" HA! Then she caught herself and said "oh yeah she was adopted."

We Survived!

You know that STAPLES commercial where the guy is pushing the shopping cart singing "Its the most wonderful time of the year..." because his kids have gone back to school? That is us....we are just so relieved to finally be in the regular routine again. But while we were off we (as you know) went to florida, Andrew helped to create 3 blogs and now owns his own .com called Basics to pro.. He also somehow learned how to decode and write HTML (don't ask me how he learned)...he was also asked to author some other blogging tips articles online..I actually had to edit it because although the content was excellent his writing is that of an 11 year old. I punctuated and spelled checked for him. Ella insisted on making ginger tea every day of vacation and was worried about how I would survive today without her in school. Jared had a wiggly tooth this morning (his first) and we received a note from school to let us know he handed the teacher his tooth...'here teacher is my tooth." And Grace had many sleep overs but forgot some of her math and reading over vacation because she procrastinated on her homework and we didn't push....So, all is good...we are praying for God to provide because work is slow this year and we are just leaning on God but loving our family and life...

Crudite!

So Matea looks at me today after I picked her up from pre school and said "mom what is crudite?" I said "Where did you hear that word?" She said "On Snow White." I said "Oh okay..crudite means vegetables..." Then she said "Mom what does 'impressed' mean?" I said "Impressed means proud." She then said "Mom are you impressed when I eat my crudite?" HA!!!! LOL...She just turned 4 a couple of weeks ago...but she is soooooo funny....

Ella makes CHI!

The Good Orphanage and Never Never Land!

It has been so interesting being a mother to all of my children but especially my 3 children from Africa because they constantly challenge me to look at things from a different perspective. I guess before going to Africa I had a very cinematic view of how children perceive their orphanage experience and their life in an "underdeveloped country" (using quotes because that is how many people will view Africa). All I can say is that I have learned that we place our judgment on their lives totally from a capitalistic vantage point. I believed that my kids would be extremely grateful and anxious to be taken out of their poverty and difficult surroundings and catapulted into a life of luxury and civility. But what I have learned is that my kids totally never viewed their life situation as poor or less than perfect. Even with their parents passing away they adjusted quite well to their orphanage and never thought their life before that was anything but great. For example, we were swimming in Florida and Grace was remembering her swimming experience in Africa very fondly ...she said they would wash their clothes in the water, the animals would be washed and they would swim. She said it was really fun. Now my mind automatically goes to the place of "EW but the animals could be going to the bathroom and you could get sick." But because she had never studied science and never been told about GERMS per se she only remembers the fun time swimming. Her Florida swimming experience in a fully chlorinated pool on the beach with inflated pool toys didn't necessarily rank higher than her Africa (pool hole) experience.

So, also recently we have noticed that Jared is just now starting to grieve and feel a sense of loss not of his mother, father or parents but of the orphanage that he lived at for 18months. Again, one would think "but now you have a family . Isn't that great?" If you were a 3 year old boy and slept in a room with 8 other 3 year old boys, were fed with those boys, played with 100 other kids everyday and got to run freely in a safe compound having a life situation where you have to make play dates can grow exhausting to you. We are tracked out from school for 3 weeks and Jared is constantly saying "i want to go back to etiopia and don't want family." He has been here a year and hasn't expressed his feelings like this. We ask what he misses and he says he misses the kids at Layla House and the pancakes and injera....So, the lesson learned and important info to impart to adoptive parents is to realize that what you perceive to be a 'better life" may take awhile to translate into their little hearts. Also, if we are being honest there were some amazing aspects of living in the countryside of Africa that they miss. They were able to just leave their house and come home by sunset. Not the case here. They could be outside all the time. Not the case here either. Every sunday all of the kids in the village would play while the families would create a sunday meal. We do the same but not to the same extent with an entire village of people...So, we are dealing with Jared's grief and likening it to Peter Pan in never never land. When Jared can't play with multitude of friends because they are busy he freaks out. When he has to abide by a rule or recognize that being in a family means having some responsibilities it isn't so easy.....still we know better that life in a place like never never land or in a good orphanage can also take its toll as you start to watch all of your friends move on to their forever families....He knows now that things at Layla are not the same as when he was there because the children are mostly in new homes in american and he wouldn't know the new kids. Still, he grieves for a little moment in time that he holds fondly as the first home he really really remembers and we are grateful that our agency Adoption Advocates International did such a good job in making our kids wish that their lives would always be about being surrounded by good friends living in a place inside 4 walls where the world couldn't cause them any more harm than they had already experienced..THANKS AAI...

How to Throw a Kid's Birthday Party for $10!

So, I was working through the budget for Matea's party and realized i could have done it for $10. I spent around $40. Here is the agenda first.

8 kids (plus 2 more of mine and 5 adults=15)
party was Thursday from 3:30-5. With older kids you can't do this because of school etc. Also, I think maybe 1:30-3 is better. That way you can have lunch first on your own and then have guests come for dessert/coffee (this was a little too close for dinner).

So, kids arrive decorate bags I was given for free. I had them only put names on it but they could put stickers and sparkly stuff.

Next...hot potato or hot stuffed animal. I bought 8 stuffed toys ($1 each at Dollar tree) and then each time a kids was out they got to keep the stuffed toy and help the other kids turn the music off for next round.

next-pin the tail on the donkey ($1 from dollar tree)..it was really 'pin the tail on daniel's lion". More $1 party favors but I would also recycle something in the house like chocolate that we were given in the house from Christmas ---still not expired.

Paper products (cheap from dollar tree) but I would have loved to have organized a proper tea party like my friend Teresa George did using China...saves money and is really fancy for the little girls in their dresses.

Milar balloons-$1 each at dollar tree....

So you have two games and then you have cake-we had cookie cake because I had made a cake the night before for her real birthday. But this could be done spending about 3 for cake mix and frosting etc.

Drinks -coffee, frozen lemonade for pitcher and one bottle ($1) of orange soda.

Our intention was to hand out bubbles on the way out but forgot...party was over before 5 and kids had fun and it was organized and quick.

I used to get excited when I would spend $150 only on a party in NYC or $10 each kids at a play place...I really prefer the at home parties ..they are more personal and the kids aren't as stressed. I also recommend keeping young children's parties on the smaller side. My older kids have always freaked out when they were little at their parties. One year I had to hold Sam during her entire party because she was overwhelmed......

If you use your own China or plates and linens, recycle stuff for party favors, use evite invitations, and bake from a box and use frozen lemonade the party is $9 if you throw in two bags of noise makers (4 in a package from dollar tree)...

Back to Motherhood In Real Time...

I phone in the toilet...

dropped my iphone in the toilet this week . This is the second time I have done this in 3 years..I keep it in my back pocket and then forget...take off my pants to go to bathroom...hear a splash and look before I sit down and the phone is drowning..I grabbed the phone out of the toilet but it was too late...I have only had it a few months...so now I have a new one because it ruined the last one..here is a pic of the new phone and toilet (couldn't take a pick of the one in a toilet because I didn't want to leave it there in case it could have been saved)....so here is a visual that will give you a general idea of an iphone in a toilet...

deanna