Saturday, May 22, 2010

ESTHER as told by Matea

So, I am in the car and Matea goes on and on about Esther. I say "matea will you tell me later into the camera?" She says 'sure"...I never told her this story but it was told to her by her preschool teachers...incredible that she retained it....Matea lives up to her name..she really is a 'gift from God!"

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

The GREAT Church!!!!!?????

I have been pondering my life a lot lately. I have been realizing how much time I have spent chasing after greatness. I am not chasing after greatness in the sense of being a celebrity stalker or believing I should solicit dinner invites to the White House. But I have spent a fair amount of my life working on ‘being great.’ Most of us have been told from time to time how 'great' we are. Because of loving the way it feels to be told I am great I then will aspire to approach my passions with excellence therefore anticipating a GREAT outcome. When I was little I loved getting praises and adulation when I would do something simple like ride a bike. Then I became a 'great' poet at a young age. Then I was this 'great' softball pitcher. Then I was 'great' at community theater, singing, dancing and singing at the same time. As I grew up I aspired to be the best New York City bandleader and ended up being that. I longed to be a 'great' mother. My husband and I had great credit scores and a great nest egg because we had great jobs. In being entertainers you often hear “Great Job!” “You were great tonight!” “Great Voice!” “Great band!”

Well human greatness is a fallacy. I tried really hard at the age of 18 when I found myself pregnant to continue to appear "GREAT." In trying to hide my unplanned pregnancy I had an abortion because I knew no one would consider an 18 pregnant singer/dancer "Great!" We should aspire for excellence while knowing we are human. Most people that many of us consider great are not. And many of our friends or relatives are also on the ‘greatness gravy train” and can’t get off. They spend their days trying to appear to be great when in reality they are far from it. The abortion I had in an attempt to appear 'great' caused my to be at risk for breast cancer at a 40% increase due to the induced abortion. I also fell into a depression that caused me to contemplate suicide.

Many Christians aspire to appear 'great.' I think as Christians we can have very large egos. In fact, we even pride ourselves on being the most humble which is ironic to me. We preach on humility and service but then when not on stage looking ‘great’ totally drop the ball. I will tell you what prompted this post on greatness today…

Today I was in a church. The church has been called a ‘great’ church. The building is modern. The staff is dressed really hip. There is coffee and give away mugs in the lobby. There is a casual atmosphere which implies an approachability to the staff at the church. The ladies bathroom is painted perfectly great for the women with great conferences listed on the bulletin boards. The hallways are filled with international goals in ministry. The church hosts concerts by well-known Christian artists. From the worldly viewpoint it looks like the church is doing ‘great’ work for the kingdom. One of the great works it is advertising was the race to raise funds for breast cancer. All of us believe fighting breast cancer is a great cause. And I believe that whoever put the sign up sheets up in that church had no idea that their fund raiser would inadvertently be a slap in my face and for other post abortive women who walk into the church. I believe the people who put up the signs and sheets had the best intentions....but if they were aspiring for doing a 'great' thing they should know that that particular organization contributes to an atrocious practice...abortion. Susan G. Komen has been known to give money back to Planned Parenthood an organization that advocates and promotes abortion and therefor the increased rate in women to be at risk for breast cancer. There are many studies linking breast cancer and early induced abortions (Videos attached to this post). Women like myself who have had abortions experience a 40% increase of risk of breast cancer. So, for me when I see a sign in a church and banners promoting this organization that is giving funds back to abortion providers, well it is just hypocritical and is just salt in the wound. Think of it this way: How would you feel if your church was promoting a race to stop lung cancer and you knew the money was going back to Philip Morris an organization that creates cigarettes. Then how would you feel if you lost a family member to lung cancer and the church continues to pour money into that organization that advertises and promotes giving cigarettes to children, teens and women. How would you feel if you had had an abortion and were already genetically at risk for breast cancer but were not told that that abortion would increase an average woman to 40% increase and to those already in the risk factor to a higher degree???? Shouldn't the church fight hard to be accountable with what they promote? In early Roman history, babies were left on the side of the road to just die and it was the Christians that would save them. But what if there were chariot races that were all the rage just racing by babies and yet all of the Christians found these chariot races to be a vehicle for them to raise money for the people who would own and build a field to allow the babies to die in (sort of a death field).

I was upset that this church had these signs out and a banner up. I believe there are better ways to raise money to fight breast cancer and I for one wouldn’t want to place my money into something that was going to cause the very thing I was fighting against. Would God want us to be that kind of steward to our money? So, I decided I would have a confidential conversation with the pastor. I asked in the morning. The receptionist said they were in a staff meeting. So I asked if it was okay if I came back in the afternoon. I told her it was a personal matter. I didn’t feel like telling everyone the story of my abortion and facts over and over. When I arrived in the afternoon I was visibly upset by this. It would appear that even though I have been through therapy, bible studies and healing-churches that avoid and dodge the abortion issue still really get to me. I said “Can I see the pastor for 5 minutes?” I do respect the time of the pastors but this was an exceptional case and plus I believe Jesus came to bend some overly stringent rules. I said “Please!” There were tears in my eyes. Well the receptionist would not relent and even closed the door on me. This is what got me on the greatness kick. Here is this ‘great’ church with women in cute pink sweat suits and sneakers unaware of promoting abortion and potentially more breast cancer, and a pastor who won’t ‘minister’ unless the crisis happens when it is perfectly timed. What if I had been contemplating suicide? What if I was a pregnant parishioner contemplating abortion? I started crying not because of the oversight with Susan G. Komen but because it was clear that this 'great' church had no interest ministering to a person unless it fit into their rules and schedule.

Maybe if the church wouldn’t be so concerned with having perfectly great schedules in great buildings they would actually be in God’s business of saving lives and not APPEARING to be doing mission work. Wearing pink stuff for a walk can appear very Christian and ‘great’ until you google things like “Susan G. Komen and Planned Parenthood.” Or “Abortion Breast Cancer!” This church isn’t alone. There are many that honestly don’t care about abortion even though the bible tells us that He formed us in our mother’s womb.

My credit score is no longer great. I spent lots of money traveling to Ethiopia and Guatemala to adopt kids. I don’t think I am the NY bandleader rock star that I once was because I have been spending time talking about motherhood and not focusing on booking the band. Our work situation is not ‘great’. My mortgage is in pieces and far from ‘great.’ I probably will never be fabulously ‘great’ again. But I am tired of qualifying for some certificate of ‘greatness’ that has never come. I do desire thought to be the "CHURCH" with a capital 'C" bothers me that I couldn't find the big "C" inside this little 'c' church that I only the day before had considered 'great.'

Jesus is great. Jesus is greatness! He acknowledged people hurting and had an open door policy. He hated hippocrites. Jesus says we are all adopted by Him. Jesus talks about the sanctity of life and walked a rough path with a cross after being beaten bloodied. There was nothing , cute or hip about a donkey with a mocked Jesus on the path….He would have been mocked a fool in these days too. But He truly was great!!! We should all get off of the ‘I want to be fabulously great treadmill.” We are not ‘great.’ We are sinful and flawed humans. But our intense passion for greatness and perfection has created some awful and evil stuff (such as potentially financing abortion by getting involved in a trendy event.) I am going to try to be more aware of how many times in my days, in my life I try to appear more than I am. I want to be more aware of how often I take credit for something ‘great’ in my life that is a miracle from God….

I came home today sad…defeated because when you dive into God’s plans you really start to see how not ‘great’ you are…..but then I went online and was introduced to David Platt who has given me hope that the GEN Y’s will reclaim true Christianity…I hope that my kids can live the radically Christian life which has nothing to do with our quest for ‘greatness’ but everything to do with JESUS’…

Sunday, May 2, 2010

#Mother's Day Tshirt with $20 donation

To become an official MOTHER THE WORLD Sponsor donate $20 or more and get this MOTHER THE WORLD Tshirt for free as a THANK YOU(a great gift for Mother's Day)...Also, there is a link to additional gifts for mom at the end of this post...I am seen here with Elaine Bateman MRS. KENTUCKY in our MOTHER THE WORLD T-shirts

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Mother The World-2010 Promo

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