Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Multitasking at its worst!

So, when my kids come home everyday they hand me about 20 sheets of paper. First I discard duplicates which means about 1/2 (school isn't very 'green' should just give each family one copy). And then I go to my calendar and input the info. I received a couple of birthday invitations for parties in the next few weeks. First I made note of a birthday party for Ella which is a pretend slumber party "wear pajamas and bring your doll or stuffed toy". The other announcement was Jared's family music night "wear something comfortable and bring a doll or stuffed toy." So tonight Jared and I get ready to go to the music night. I tell him put on your pajamas and get a toy. AND THEN...we get there and he is the only one in jammies...And I try to act real cool just for him as well as for myself. Parents are saying "Jared is so cute! Great idea to wear your jammies." He doesn't notice he is the only one wearing his jammies until the concert time and then decides to wear his PARKA (last week it snowed tonight it is 60 degrees) over his pajamas....SO, it used to be that I could honestly remember every little thing on one of those announcements. I never had lists or calendars and just mentally kept them all in my head...WELL it is either the massive family, early alzheimer or perimenopausal symptoms (I pray that isn't the case)...but I cannot multi task as well as I used to ..anyhow..just wanted to share my mental...gafffeeee....

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Do You Love my Mom!

Ella asked me "Do You Love My Mom TOO????" (someone take the knife out of my heart please). i said "Ella, I love her so much and I pray for her everyday." I also told her that I loved her like she was my sister even though I never ever knew her because God took my prayers and her prayers and brought them together to bring us all together. I explained that it was as if her mommy was praying before she died and God also gave me a huge feeling to go find them even though they were many many miles away because He knew that Mark and I were going to be her new parents. I know it was important to Ella that she knew that I loved her mom too. I think she needed confirmation again that it was okay for her to love her mom so much and love her forever because we also loved her. It is incredible how these kids have opened up their hearts to love us in spite of their loss. It is amazing to see how happy they can be knowing there is a gap in their little hears. It is so mind boggling to watch as they embrace their new family and all the newness around them....I am so grateful for the resiliency and yet honesty of emotion in these kids....Praise God!

CUTIE Matea!

Yay...look at her cute haircut..I wasn't able to upload the before pic...

Now I have to keep buying bows because she made me promise I wouldn't call her Andrew, Jared or DORA!!!!

Casey's Testimony!

Monday, January 26, 2009

Do they Remember?

I know I talk about my Ethiopian children so much on this blog. I know Grace remembers her mom but Jared doesn't remember her and Ella does not remember her face. Well Matea (my Guatemalan daughter) lately has been extremely clingy to me and afraid when I leave or that she will lose my love. I am constantly reassuring her. She really hates it when I cuddle with Jared. Well it dawns on me that she may actually be afraid of losing another mother. Granted I have been her mom since she was 8 months old (she is now 3 and a half). Still, her birth mother gave her up at birth and then at 8 months was given to us by her foster mother. Still, I wonder if somewhere in her little heart she remembers when her foster mother handed her off to Mark. Imagine a little 8 month old all of the sudden in the arms of complete strangers. It has to be really scary. Matea has adjusted so well but I find that she does need extra reassurance. What do they remember? We speak freely to Matea about her adoption and she is proud of where she comes from but I also know that like all adopted children she will always have a longing to see her mom one day or just know more......I know she loves us with all of her sweet little heart...but I also know that as long as her mom is alive in Guatemala she will long to see her one day. It doesn't bother me...I just hope we can find her when she is old enough to visit. I also pray she stays healthy and safe and that Matea will be able to get many pictures of her Guatemalan family to keep with her at home in NC.

The Hair Cut!

OH MY!!!! So, Matea found a pair of scissors tonight. I found hair on my bathroom floor and a 3 year old with half of one side of her head about 6 inches shorter than the other side. I asked her about it. She swore that Grace and Ella cut her hair. I started to reprimand them. Matea then admitted that Grace didn't do it when I was in front of Grace. So, we went to where Ella was. When she was in front of Ella she swore that Andrew cut her hair. Finally she confessed. And then she started to cry when I told her she would need a real haircut. One of her Ethiopian siblings called her MULATA (in amharic that means bald)..She cried again when she thought I would be calling her Jared or Andrew. So we went to sleep but first looked for giant bows for her hair.....

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Toe Licking!

I know this is probably TMI (too much information). But I thought it was really funny. This morning before school Jared walked up to Ella , who had her feet on the ottoman and licked her toes. I yelled at him across the room "Jared what are you doing? Stop that!!" Ella said "EWW Jared gross. Leave my toes alone." I had him come over to me...I said "Jared we never lick any one's toes."" And he just laughed and walked away...Matea was sitting next to me eating her cereal. She looked up at me when he walked away and said "You can only lick toes if you are married!!!" LOL!!!!!

Friday, January 16, 2009


All went well with the MRI today at DUKE. Duke is like the equivalent of checking into the CLUB MED hospital (very fun). He was met by all of these very smart and beautiful ...nurses who have toys and games and items to explain what they are doing. So he is escorted by these women and then they ask him what movie he wants to watch and they all rub his arm etc. They gave Andrew a funny drug called versed (sp?) that made him think there were 4 eyes on a picture of a cat on the curtain. He was talking and then sleeping and then tried to stand up with jello legs...They gave it to him because he was so nervous about the needles. But he is amazing. The test went well and Andrew has no issues with his pituitary with the exception of the fact that it is slightly small. He will go on human growth hormone but now he is thinking positive. When he left they gave him a baseball that measures your pitching speed. It was one of the gifts he wanted for christmas but didn't get. He told them that....and was really happy (but that's also because they call versed 'happy juice')Then he said ""I can't take the human growth hormone it is illegal in baseball (he loves baseball and wants to be a player when he grows up)" I said "I think it is okay when it is just little league. Plus it might make you hit further." He said: "really?" I said "'ll just have to stop before you go pro."..I just hope they don't do random testing here with the Cary Parks and recreation....HA!

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Pray for MRI!

Tomorrow Andrew has to have an MRI for his pituitary gland. He is deficient with human growth hormone so the doctor is checking it out. Pray that all goes well. The doctor isn't worried about anything really serious but he may need to be given shots which he is not happy about.....

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Andrew's Human Growth Hormone Test!

Andrew and I spent the day at the hospital. He had to have an all day test adiministered to truly determine if he is deficient of the human growth hormone. He is very small for an 11 year ol

Memorial! Finding Grief!

So, yesterday I had the memorial service for Aubrey. This was basically the graduation portion of the post abortion bible study I had gone to. It had been 27 years. A memorial originally seemed odd to I didn't feel I had the right to stand in a place of honor as the mother of a child that I aborted..>Still, it was part of the study and i complied. When asked 12 weeks prior what I had wanted from the class i said closure and a way to experience grief. So, I knew I had cried many tears in the years...tears of regret, tears from anger, tears from guilt and loss..but yesterday I truly grieved the loss of the child that could have been. I was surprised when I looked down at the 16 kleenex i had gone through. Mark played the music and there was a minister there along with the teacher of the study and 2 other post abortive women. We read scripture, had communion, memorialized our children, lit candles and blew them out. And i feel so much more at ease now. It is as if a 2 ton weight has been lifted. I was comforted when through prayer I imagined my little one scooped up by my Grandma Conner and Grandma Jones. I imagined her dancing and singing with the children from our family who were there before her (our brother Denny). I know it may all seem strange but it truly was cathartic and I feel totally blessed and at peace...The sweetest part of the day though was when Mark said he likes to hope that Aubrey knows that she is one of his children too and a part of this family even though he wasn't the biological sweet....Praise God!

Clean Underwear!

So the other night I was giving Jared a bath. Mark is usually in charge of jared's showers and bath. So I called Jared in ...and I told him to bring clean underwear....He just walked in the bathroom with the same underwear that he wearing. I said "Jared is that clean underwear?" He said "Yes mom's from Christmas"....But of course it was January 6th LOL!!! and even though Santa had given him some underwear..I sure was hoping that it wasn't the same pair of underwear he put on Christmas...Mark said it wasn't but when he said "It's from Christmas." It made me a bit nervous considering the fact that it had been 2 weeks since Santa had visited us.

Sunday, January 4, 2009

I don't want that...

So, I had to go to the supermarket today and took Ella with me. We went down the aisle with the feminine hygiene products. She grabs a box of tampons and says " What is this mom?" Ella is only 7 but is prepubescent so the doctors have recommended that we have the conversation etc. So i tell her in age appropriate language what happens once a month...she looks at me and says "mom, i don't want that."

Saturday, January 3, 2009

How do you spell Fairies???"

Happy New Year everyone!! My Ethiopian children are doing some studying on the computer. So Grace (age 10 ) shouts down to me in her broken English " you spell fairies???" I proceed to spell and then Mark shouts down "Deanna you better be careful with that one....she might go to an inappropriate site." So I scream upstairs...Grace...give me the computer..Imagining she has made her way to San Francisco nightlife ('not that there's anything wrong with that' Seinfeld) on the computer....She had wanted to go to the Disney site to play a Tinkerbell game but didn't know how to ask me for it...WHEW! Mark bookmarked the page and she still doesn't know how to spell fairies....