Shadowing the Unplanned Pregnancy

SHADOWING THE UNPLANNED PREGNANCY

When I met Carol on 1/22 I had no idea what to expect in helping her to traverse the difficulties of basically being alone in the world through this unplanned pregnancy. When we volunteer to help someone in need we really need to understand that we are making a commitment that we can’t back away from. These days things are really hard for my family financially. We are now in ministry, working to truly delve into bringing awareness to issues of Motherhood etc. But because of that we also are struggling with mortgages etc, while also being the financial lifeline to friends in need , like Carol who is now 16 weeks pregnant.

I have learned so much through her. We get along very well, but I am struggling with boundaries and priorities. When you have several kids of your own and yet have made a commitment to HELP someone, you have to learn quickly how to balance the needs of your family and the very important needs of your new friend.

Carol is very resourceful, beautiful, bright and inspiring. Still, I am learning that being in ministry such as this is sort of like being a contestant on the BIGGEST LOSER….Actually, I think there is a good argument that ministry itself is like being on the Biggest Loser. Each day you are challenged with pushing yourself to places that may be uncomfortable. Each day you are asked to persevere. Each day you are asked to give up things of this world in order to find your way to the ultimate prize. So, it can feel grueling and hard to trade your previous life and habits for a more uncomfortable life that ultimately leads to big rewards…..but the sacrifice is real, it hurts, you sweat, you crave comfort and you have to find it in the depths of your soul to push through another mile on the treadmill….For me, this means, fighting the desire to go back to my very comfortable life of working to get more gigs that pay well but that don’t really make a huge difference to the Kingdom of God. But I long for the comfort of days passed…but I am so well aware that today with Carol, with Mother the World, I have the opportunity to run toward a prize that resides in the Kingdom of Heaven….Yes,,,it feels better to go back to the relaxed secure stage at the PLAZA HOTEL and strut around singing in my sequins and rhinestones (and we will take as much work that comes our way), but ultimately the choices I make today to step into the stress of ministry will be more valuable in the long run. I don’t recall saving a life while singing the song “I WILL SURVIVE’ or “BOOGIE OOGIE”. But in the past year and a half have witnessed several lives saved through this ministry. Yes, we invested some of our ‘band’ money in adoption….but this is a new day. Life should be an adventure and we should aspire to answer the calls when they come to us. In regards to Carol, the call literally came during dinner one night. The call to MOTHER THE WORLD is one that on face value looks as if it is all about simply featuring mothers talking about their kids, adoption, child advocacy…but at the root and heart of it is MY WOUND….Mother the World exists because of a deep desire in my heart to help to develop a pride of Motherhood that will resonate to the next generation, so that if girls are faced with an unplanned pregnancy they will instead first think only of life and working toward being a mother. So, in shadowing Carol through her unplanned pregnancy, I hope that I can learn and gain a perspective and practical information as to how to advise other women like myself who may want to step into the role of ADOPTING A MOM….I think women who keep their babies in the midst of potential homelessness, lack of food, job loss are really courageous. I implore more women to somehow make themselves available to help other women through this sometimes very isolating experience. Shadowing the mother or ADOPTING A MOM can be so helpful in making the woman feel no longer isolated but ‘hopeful.’

This week I stayed with Carol as we went to the Department of Health where I saw many isolated mothers struggling to fill prenatal vitamin prescriptions, get Medicaid approval for prenatal visits and maternity care. I learned about the ins and outs of ‘food stamps’. I was thrust into a world that I had only heard of. These are real people simply trying to embrace LIFE (their own and their children’s). I am seriously prolife…but I would be a hypocrite if I said that it is easy to walk through an unplanned pregnancy. It isn’t. Still, I push through as I learn and am blessed by Carol. I feel like there are these invisible angels cheering me on. I think of the trainer on biggest loser yelling “keep moving’….Sometimes I feel like I weigh a thousand pounds….but in the end, I believe both Carol and I will come out of this feeling more fit and more beautiful in the end…even without my ‘chick singer’ rhinestones and sequin gown. Life is getting interesting,,,even more interesting, hard yes…but ‘deliciously sweet in the unexpected, unplanned moments that the Lord is putting in our paths…it is all good…tomorrow a new adventure awaits us!!!!