"Boys Eat...GO!" (gender equality?)

What's a mom to do? So , growing up in an all female family...and in the 70's. I remember the days of ERA and Gloria Steinem's reign (I won't address her recent comments in the media). And I always liked thinking of myself as someone who expects equal respect etc. And I am the first to say that in some ways I think women are superior in their ability to multi task by pushing out a baby, while on a cell phone making a real estate deal, while organizing the week's meals all in the same breath. That being said, in the past several years I really really also see a huge value in servitude and for myself I love to cook and take care and serve my husband. I like to try to emulate my grandmother and cook for the family and the guys....My new daughters are really really into cleaning. They have made it clear that the kitchen belongs to the gals. We have enjoyed bonding over sweeping, washing, scrubbing and wiping the counters and floors. Today, after breakfast I noticed that both Andrew and Jared just left their plates there and were already at some other part of the house. The girls very joyfully and innocently cleared their plates and continued to clean. You could hear them humming because they literally find joy in the task. I said to them "wait the boys didn't clean their plates" Grace says "it's okay mom....boys eat...go...girls stay clean." It was such a clear and simple true observation and yet I felt I had a dilemma. Do I correct them and say "no boys should always clean up too after themselves" but then I don't want to have to reteach them somewhere down the line what serving their family means. Do I get on the boys case because I don't want them to grow up to be guys that expect to not clean up after themselves all the time? Is it so bad to want to clean up after the guys? So, I decide to continue to encourage the girls to be their joyful selves and just clean. But also, remind the boys they need to clean up after themselves too. The other day Grace cleaned up Andrew and Jared's room. I explained to her that it was really really nice that she did that but it wasn't expected. Tonight Andrew made dinner with the girls. The girls were speed peelers with the potatoes. I have never ever seen anything like it. They explained that they used to peel with a knife in Ethiopia. I really enjoy this time with them. They are all off of school for three weeks.....we took a long walk in the neighborhood today. They all screamed and Grace left Matea in the stroller to face the MONSTER BLACK DOG......a poodle on a leash. So, they all have DOG issues...."ME NO LIKE BLACK DOGS (scream scream run run)" This was actually something that was written in their initial reports. Jared is having a really hard time and still dealing with anger issues when he doesn't get his way...and (another gender equality issue) somehow responds more to Mark then to myself with discipline. He sort of ignores me and will actually says "NO" right to my face....this really gets me upset. He will simply whole heartedly disobey me....so I am really working on it and remembering that according to the studies on children with PTS(post traumatic stress) that we actually have to have time in and remind him that we are not going to leave him. Apparently , some children like to test you to see if you will take off and leave him forever......so...OH And also...only one couple showed up to our open house yesterday...uugghh! We still are really nervous about having two mortgages and business picking up....but we are believing and counting our blessings...Mark, Sam, Andrew, Grace, Ella, Jared and Matea....good health, a multitude of friends and the best extended family in the world.