College and Gummi Bears at PRESCHOOL

I spent last night and today at UNC checking out DORMS...YIKES!!!!! Oldest in college next year and youngest a GUMMI BEAR in Preschool. For one I have to send in extra clothes in case she has an accident and pees in her clothes and with the other I have to research study abroad for sophomore year. It is mind boggling. The oldest is discussing with me taking the microwave and mini fridge while the youngest is learning how to pound out syllables. So, Sam and I shared a hotel room last night (used some Marriott points) and she woke up in the middle of the night sleep talking...she said "YOU HAVE TO TALK LOUDER." and then went back to sleep. We both in our Yankee fashion complained profusely about having to eat BOJANGLES for breakfast....(my southern friends probably hate me now) and the best part of the day was when the very very perky activities coordinator asked us both if we were incoming freshman. i blushed feeling like Don Knotts (Barney Pile)..."Gosh you think I am a freshman"...was my reply...."I am the mother and LOVE THIS SCHOOl." I told the woman she made my day. I would totally embarrass my daughter though by asking such questions as "Do sororities still haze? How can I find out? Because if you do you will DIE!!!" And "How much crime is on campus?" " How can you allow boys up past the first floor? Do you check her room?" total blushing from my daughter who is now upset at her twin 'freshman" mother===I mean Friend...In the meantime, my 4 year old Matea wanted to know what CLASSIC meant and looked me straight in the face and said "mom what is sex?" as she shlurped up a gogurt....I said "where did you hear that word?" She said "Two weeks ago in the van in front of the building (she has a photographic memory) you said the word to Grace." That was when I thought Matea was asleep in her carseat and I had the broken English age appropriate SEX talk to Grace. Matea can hear in her sleep. So, I said "It is when you get married and the husband and wife kiss and sometimes make babies." She says "Are you making babies?" I said "Not anymore..you are my baby." Okay...She says"do we have to have sex?" I say, "Do you want to watch Dora or Dragontales?" She says "Dora." And I take a sip of coffee and congratulate myself for buying some more time. I am a little arrogant and pat myself on the back for advanced parental distraction techniques....