Ella and Hair (the truth comes out)!

As many of you know sweet Ella (age 7) has made it clear that she is HAIR OBSESSED. One day I braided her hair and she was thrilled. She loves hair extensions. We have pretend hair in every color of the rainbow. Everyday she changes her hair three of four times...she also loves to wash it (too much) and place hair care products in her hair. She also has the most beautiful natural ringlets but has always expressed a hatred to the way her hair looks.

So we are sitting in the doctor's office today (the girls have to get their thyroid check). I am reading a magazine. Ella says to me (very matter of fact)." Mom ...one day I would sleep with my mom, the next day she get sick. The next day we all go and live with Grandma. We watch Mom die...yes Mom die. And then Grandma cut off all of our beautiful long hair because my mom die."

I literally had to suck in the tears because Ella was just stating a truth but to me it was the truth revealed. Her hair issues truly are connected to the loss of her mother and she is trying to revive her mother everytime she talks about adding extensions, looking beautiful and wanting to put on a wig...Of course having her hair cut as a result of her mom dying would bring grief and a focus on wanting her long hair back ...thus her mom back. The girls had always told me that they had beautiful long hair when they were little and then one day their grandmother cut their hair. I never questioned WHY...I thought it was just convenience. But their hair was cut as a sign to grieve and mourn their mother. Ella wants to know when her hair will be long again...or when things will be better to the point that the loss and wound would be healed...I just can't help but be sad about it ...still I am happy to know now WHY she loves to try to fix her hair....constantly....