From our Cul de sac's to the Compound! African Teen Orphans and Adoption!

I had been in labor with my second child for several hours and then the doctor announced after the delivery via Csection "You have a beautiful baby boy!"   I was so surprised. I immediately lost my breath and started crying out of joy.  I really had never even dreamed about being a mother of a boy...And then when I first laid eyes on Andrew I continued to cry. I could not believe how beautiful he was and I still could not get over my reaction. I was one of four girls and loved it. I had a daughter and would have been elated with another girl. I was so surprised at this sense of joy, pride and awe I felt as a mother of a boy.....

When we adopted from Ethiopia I had been warned by some people about older child adoption. For many people an "older child" is 2 or 3.  Then when we adopted our sibling group of 3 my heart connected to all of the kids. But there was a knowingness in my heart that my responsibility to the youngest was somehow even more profound. Jared couldn't remember his mother. He loved his grandmother and called her 'amaya" or mommy...But he longed to be taken care of and Mothered...I was blessed again to be a mother of a boy...an older Ethiopian orphan prince...of 6.

In many countries the boys are revered so much that the baby girls are the ones abandoned, aborted or killed via infanticide. There are many cultures that believe there is more value to their sons. Ironically, in adoption circles girls are very popular. I find it interesting and sweet that the people going out to adopt are drawn to the gender of the child that is readily discarded first. However, since the "demand" is for baby girls, then baby boys, then toddler girls, toddler boys, girls, boys...then to special needs like cleft palate, "hiv+" other special needs...it seems really obvious that teens are totally not considered . And teen boys are considered for adoption last in line. What happens to girls and boys who have been orphaned all of their lives and then age out from the orphanage and then onto the streets of a country whose average life span is 45? They are poor and have no one...so fall into all kinds of bad situations and many time can die within 10 years of being out in the rugged streets of the city, where dozens of 'aged out' orphans struggle to get food, get a job, find a place to sleep and hope not to die of dehydration. Some girls are met by pimps that wait on the outside of the orphanage after catching word that 'one' is being released on a particular day.....she goes from orphan status immediately into slavery via prostitution (she is owned not mothered).

The reality is that there is so much promise and so much hope in a teen (girl or boy), But who is going to come?  The percentages in Ethiopia alone is that only one one hundreth of 1 percent of the 4.6 million children orphaned are adopted every year. Of that one one hundreth of 1 percent the special needs children and teens are the last to be considered.   One statistic is that even though many of us consider adoption only 3% of the Christians in our country adopt....most of those babies...

My husband and I have two boys  that we call our sons in Ethiopia because they are our children's brothers. They are anywhere from 14-18..not really sure. We don't really know where they are exactly or if they are okay...They are orphans and we didn't know about them until late in the adoption process and we were told that they were unadoptable....But we wonder, worry and pray for them and deeply determined to get a phone number or have someone visiting to find them so we can get a report...

I have one friend that ministers to the boys on the streets of Addis. But there is only so much he can do. There is also an orphanage called Kolfe Orphanage that my friends Eileen and Jerry have tried to raise funds to restore etc.  But no matter how many new sheets or how many new beds, books, shoes you can buy for a teen boy....it can't replace the love of a mother. So many long to be able to call someone mother even when they are 15, 16, 17...Some will never get the chance before they die at some point within the 20 years expected life span post orphanage.

What is wrong with us??? Why are we so afraid to extend ourselves in faith to love another human being that isn't wrapped up to look like a baby in a diaper commercial?  Why can't we look past our fears and look into their loss? Why can't we have confidence in our own capacity to bless, inspire and heal another human being? Why are we so self focused on our potential lifestyle losses that we can't see the loss and lack of style in the lives of the  orphans of this world that  live without anything?  We have so much that is given to us not as a result of our affluence but as a result of our ability to read about God and what he says?  We should have the faith and dictate to go to those orphans simply by our ability and blessing to hold a bible...God tells us to go to them.  Can't we extend ourselves beyond our cul de sacs and into the compounds of windowless buildings, pillowfree beds and dry wells that hundreds of children live with every day??? Just by lending a hand or an encouraging word or by giving up our 4 dollar latte's can mean life to someone.....Kolfe Orphanage