Practicing Faith!

We are here in our 3rd night in our new house. The house is beautiful and we love it. We have almost everything out of our old house but will need to paint it for touch ups. This has been an interesting week. It is easy to practice faith when you have a net but sometimes God asks you to jump and there is no net...so you have to just jump and hope He catches you. He has caught me many times but for some reason this time I am really having to push myself. Building this house at the time seemed so right and it feels so right now....but we still haven't sold this other house and just taking it one day at a time. I have seen myself panic this week going to the 'worse case scenario place'....which wasn't so awful because I realized that no matter what happened I would still have my wonderful family, husband and health...which is so much. Still I try to avoid being caught by those WAVES of doubt and fear in the enormity of having a new and bigger house and mortgage and not a ton of work. But seeing how wonderfully my family is settling in I also say to myself "God can get us through this. And why shouldn't our family have this home...AND let's just take it one day at a time." Do you think Noah had moments of doubt and fear when God said "build an ark."? Do you think sometimes he said to himself..."was that God really speaking to me or am I just out of my mind?" I wonder too if Moses ever said to God "you have got the wrong guy." Or "how am I supposed to get those people across that river?" Sometimes I feel like such an unlikely person to have these 6 kids in this perfect house for us. And I wonder if God had the wrong guy...but then hold on to believing in His sovereignty and ALL KNOWING nature. SO..we are practicing faith. There have been times when things were easier when we even had the arrogance to think that maybe we had mastered the concept of FAITH...and then this week I am humbled by the realization that I totally do not have enough....I have shouted out to God with a longing to see Him and begging for forgiveness for being way to human to really believe sometimes. When the bank accounts are full, the houses sell on time and there is more than enough work we go to our churches and proclaim our faith confidently but then we really can see how strong we are when we are tested by this crazy world. I totally feel the same way I did when I wrote Feather in His Hand....reaching high and not knowing where we will land but knowing HE will catch us even when we are weak and fragile. I am reminded by the song I wrote 6 years ago when we left NYC to move to NC that God will indeed not let me fall but will 'lift me up" at the perfect time...

It's in reaching high that I take the chance to lose,
I pray I'll find the path that leads me to where heaven opens,
I'm floating in the air not sure of what's out there for me..
And then I land a feather in His hand,
I know now I'm safe captured by God's grace,
A feather in His hand even as the wild wind blows,
He's there is lift me up hold me high on faith is where I'll stand in His hand...

So I'm letting go though tomorrow I could fall,
Flying low I pray I'll hear the call to be uplifted,
Floating high above this world not knowing where the air is taking me.
And then I land a feather in His hand,
I know now I'm safe captured by God's grace,
A feather in His hand even as the wild wind blows,
He's there is lift me up hold me high on faith is where I'll stand in His hand...

It's in opening up where the angels let me go,
Out from their wings back to the arms that love me so,
I'm just a drifter floating back to His embrace...I know now there's aplace for me...
And then I land a feather in His hand,
I know now I'm safe captured by God's grace,
A feather in His hand even as the wild wind blows,
He's there is lift me up hold me high on faith is where I'll stand in His hand...